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If you are considering suicide...
From the American Association of Suicidology - http://www.suicidology.org/

Quote:
IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING SUICIDE

The last thing that most people expect is that they will run out of reasons to live. But if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, you need to know that you’re not alone. By some estimates, as many as one in six people will become seriously suicidal at some point in their lives. Fortunately, most people do not act on their suicidal thoughts – crises pass and problems are solved. But sometimes thoughts lead to self-harm.

Some Important Facts AAS Would Like to Share with You

Suicidal thinking is usually associated with problems that can be treated. Clinical depression, anxiety disorders, chemical dependency, and other disorders produce profound emotional distress. They also interfere with effective problem-solving. But you need to know that new treatments are available, and studies show that the vast majority of people who receive appropriate treatment improve or recover completely. Even if you have received treatment before, you should know that different treatments work better for different people in different situations. Several tries are sometimes necessary before the right combination is found.

If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it is not that solutions don’t exist, only that you are currently unable to see them. Therapists and counselors (and sometimes friends) can help you to see solutions that otherwise are not apparent to you.

Suicidal crises are almost always temporary. Although it might seem as if your unhappiness will never end, it is important to realize that crises are usually time-limited. Solutions are found, feelings change, unexpected positive events occur. Suicide is sometimes referred to as “a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” Don’t let suicide rob you of better times that will come you way when you allow more time to pass.

Problems are seldom as great as they appear at first glance. Job loss, financial problems, loss of important people in our lives – all such stressful events can seem catastrophic at the time they are happening. Then, month or years later, they usually look smaller and more manageable. Sometimes, imagining ourselves “five years down the road” can help us to see that a problem that currently seems catastrophic will pass and that we will survive.

Reasons for living can help sustain a person in pain. A famous psychologist once conducted a study of Nazi concentration camp survivors, and found that those who survived almost always reported strong beliefs about what was important in life. You, too, might be able to strengthen your connection with life if you consider what has sustained you through hard times in the past. Family ties, religion, love of art or nature, and dreams for the future are just a few of the many aspects of life that provide meaning and gratification, but which we can lose sight of due to emotional distress.

Do not keep suicidal thoughts to yourself! Help is available for you, whether through a friend, therapist, or member of the clergy. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. This can be your first step on the road to healing.

Telephone Numbers for More Information on Receiving Help

National Mental Health Association 703-684-7722
Anxiety Disorders Association of America 301-231-9350
American Psychological Association 202-336-5500
American Psychiatric Association 202-682-6000
Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association 312-642-0049
National Alliance for the Mentally Ill 703-524-7600
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-TALK
(800-273-8255)

[DiMarie]

Woman shedding light on suicide
Denise Burne-Fein started nonprofit Break the Silence, after brother’s death in 2004.
By Sheena Delaziosdelazio@timesleader.com
Staff Writer







Matt Burne and his sister, Denise Burne-Fein, enjoy a happy moment at a birthday party. Matt committed suicide in 2004 and his sister is keeping his memory alive through a suicide awareness group called Break the Silence.

SUBMITTED PHOTO
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Richard Matthew Burne was one of the good guys. He had a great sense of humor, loved to be with his family and was committed to community service.

He was young and bright, and seemed to have everything going for himself, his sister Denise Burne-Fein said.

But, Matt committed suicide at age 37, just days after admitting himself into a prestigious treatment facility in Arizona.

Burne-Fein is dedicated to keeping her brother’s memory alive, through a nonprofit organization called Break the Silence. Her goal is to bring awareness to suicide and inpatient safety at hospitals and treatment centers.

Matt’s life began to take a downward spiral around Labor Day in 2004. He was dealing with some personal relationship problems, his sister said. Depression set in.

“All of a sudden, Matt started to look at himself internally, picking out his problems,” Burne-Fein said. “When you’re depressed, everything that’s so small seems so large.”

In November 2004, Matt decided to go the next step. He talked with his sister about The Meadows, a licensed, Level 1 psychiatric acute hospital in Wickenburg.

“He talked to me about it because he wanted reassurance about what he was doing. Things like, was he paying too much, was he going too far away,” Burne-Fein said.

Matt made a decision to go to The Meadows, where celebrities such as Rush Limbaugh, Elle MacPherson, Kate Moss, and Eric Benet had undergone treatment at one time.

Matt left his home in Scranton on Wednesday, Nov. 24, and arrived at the facility shortly after 2 p.m. that day.

When Matt got to The Meadows, he e-mailed his sister to let her know he had arrived safely. The family knew they might not be able to communicate freely since Matt’s cell phone was confiscated by staff and public telephone use was regulated.

“He was excited about learning about yoga and Buddhism there,” Burne-Fein said.

On Friday morning, Matt met with an in-house psychiatrist for the first time.

“Matt told them he had a noose at home in the basement, and had thought of nine different ways to kill himself and settled on hanging,” Burne-Fein said.

Two days later, the Burne family’s lives were changed forever.

Getting the tragic news
At 6 a.m. Sunday, Matt’s roommate reported Matt had been missing for at least an hour. It’s unclear when nurses started looking for him, Burne-Fein said.

Around 8:05 a.m., a nurse who was leaving for the day found him.

“She saw Matt leaning by a tree, and thought he was picking grass to feed nearby horses,” Burne-Fein said.

Matt asphyxiated himself on the tree with his belt.

Before the facility called the Burne family, there was a meeting between staff and patients to discuss what had happened.

“And when the doctor called, he said that when someone has it set in their mind to commit suicide, there’s nothing you can do to stop them,” she said. “That was all he said.”

Burne-Fein cried as she recalled how she learned of her brother’s suicide.

She was shopping with her mother at the Mall at Steamtown in Scranton on Sunday afternoon when a close friend called to tell Denise that she needed to talk with her as soon as possible.

“When I saw her running up to me at the mall, I thought someone was chasing her. I asked her what’s wrong, and she said Matt killed himself,” Burne-Fein said.

Burne-Fein’s first thought was: That couldn’t be right. He was in a hospital. That can’t happen.

“And at that moment, my life was changed forever,” she said.

Fighting for answers
Burne-Fein knew what she had to do.

She started to question the care her brother had received while at The Meadows. The family hired an attorney and filed a lawsuit against the facility. After 18 months of compiling information from private sources sought out by Burne-Fein and through records and depositions, the family had a list of questions that needed to be answered.

It was documented numerous times that Matt was depressed, anxious and suicidal, but Burne-Fein said he was still able to leave The Meadows in the middle of the night, unobserved and through an unlocked and unmonitored door, and able to hang himself with his own belt from a tree on an adjacent horse farm.

“The loss of Matt’s life was preventable,” Burne-Fein said. “Had doors simply been locked, secured, alarmed and/or monitored, or had he been observed or supervised per The Meadows’ own internal policy, Matt most likely would have made it through his suicidal crisis and been kept alive.”

The lawsuit ended on Feb. 23 of this year. The Burne family sued for wrongful death, medical malpractice and for the Vulnerable Adult Act in Arizona. The suit was settled for an undisclosed amount of money awarded to the Burne family.

But, Denise Burne-Fein couldn’t stop there.

“I had so much information compiled, that I said I have to do something,” she said. “I can’t just stop now that the lawsuit is over.”

Heightening awareness
In honor of her best friend and brother, Burne-Fein, now president and dealer principal of Matt Burne Honda in Scranton, started Break the Silence in May.

“I want to focus on the standards of care. Eighty-seven people commit suicide a day,” she said. “That’s more than 30,000 people a year.”

The Scranton-based nonprofit labels itself a watchdog organization, which focuses on standards of care and protocols of patient safety.

“And it’s to let people know it’s OK to talk about suicide, and hopefully by talking about it, prevent it,” Burne-Fein said. “If I can save just one family from getting the phone call, I’ve done my job.”

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention will sponsor an Out of the Darkness Community Walk Sunday at Kirby Park in Wilkes-Barre. Burne-Fein encourages relatives and friends affected by suicide to participate in an effort to raise awareness.

Burne-Fein has also placed Break the Silence ads in USA Today, most recently on Aug. 17 and 20.

She has been featured in the (Phoenix) Arizona Republic, and has done a podcast called “Skyrocketing Suicide: Who’s to Blame?” with Dr. Carole Lieberman and the family attorney, Skip Simpson on voiceamerica.com.

“He was fabulous,” Burne-Fein said of her brother. “He did a lot of great things to help others, and he only tried to help himself. That’s the irony of the whole thing. But he’s definitely going to leave a mark (through Break the Silence).”

If you go
WHAT: Out of the Darkness

Community Walk

WHEN: Sunday Check-in, 1 p.m.; Walk, 2 p.m.

WHERE: Kirby Park, Wilkes-Barre

TO REGISTER: www.outofthedarkness.org or the day of the event.

Sheena Delazio, a staff writer for The Times Leader, may be reached at 829-7235.

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