[befuddled2]

Hi all,

I had my meeting with my voc rehab counselor, and domestic violence counselor today. I cannot stand my voc rehab counselor because he tried to pycho anyalize me when that's not his job. I should be happy that my domestic counselor did sway the voc rehab counselor to let me continue with my education. First we've got to do an appointment. I suppose what is making me upset is that the voc rehab counselor uses his training as a counselor to his advantage and not mine. He has a master in psychology. And he's already betrayed me by making excuses for Goodwill.

Then I find out the drama goes on here in my personal life.

[bizi]

I am glad that your donestic counselor helped you....somebody on your side to help you get more education...that is very important in your recovery...keep making steps toward your goals...write them down, journal those feelings to help you cope with stress.
You can do this...you are worth it...
bizi

[befuddled2]

Thank you Bizi,

I've been living on Activan for the past week due to my anger just about. I am really about to lose my mind at times to be honest. I've never felt so all alone in my life now that Doug is gone.

befuddled2

[Pamster]

Hang in there Barbara, you're not alone, we're here and you're right he had no business trying to psychoanalyze you like that. I'd be angry too.

[befuddled2]

Hi Pam,

My rehab. counselor is not the only thing bothering me. The whole situation with the bad neibhborhood I'm living in. Like Doug's roommate's mom trying to beat my tail. And still finding out common things they did to Doug since he's been gone.

befuddled2

[Dmom3005]

Barb

Sending you some hugs. And hoping you start to get over this soon.

Donna

[befuddled2]

Hi,

I would like to be over this mess also but with my reputation damaged by Doug's roommate's lies about me it's going to be hard to do. I want to get into a better neighborhood.

befuddled2

[Jomar]

Hold your head up high and ignore the lies and the liars.
They are just trying to cause you trouble and pain.
Don't let them do that to you.
I don't know why some people are so conniving and hurtful.

You did the good and right thing caring for and helping Doug.

All I can say is take some deep breaths and slowly let them out and relax.
close your eyes
see yourself at peace in your heart

hope that helps a little bit

[befuddled2]

Thank you Jo,

I think I should increase my meds as I've been really easy to agiatate since going through so much stress lately. Today I spent hours trying to install AT&T as my ISP and transfered to a half a dozen people to only find out that I cannot get their Internet Service without having their phone service. That really aggravated me to waste hours to find that out.

befuddled2

[moose53]

((((((Barbara)))))),

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now



I read something over the weekend. Wanted to share it with you:
http://www.papayamaya.blogspot.com/ (the entry for October 13, 2007).

This paragraph especially:

Do not try to make the grey sound less grey.
Admit you have temporarily lost your rhythm, your
sunny warbling, your easy obedience to beauty.
It will not make you less beautiful to pull your sounds
from elsewhere. Even the ambulance is singing. The metronome
of the dishwasher. How the raccoons pulverize the garbage cans
the night before the truck comes to empty them. This is your
musical river now, your slash of sunlight, your sibilant muse.

The bold emphasis is mine. Doesn't this just speak to you when you're down??

Even though it's really hard to believe, try to believe that you are exactly where you're supposed to be right now. I believe The Universe guides our footsteps. We just have to pay attention to what's being said.

You've come an unbelievably long way in a short time. And even thrown in a huge bout of caretaking and friendship in amongst all your other 'stuff' you've got going on. Just think where you were a year ago -- cowering woman living with a not-very-nice man.

You know now you don't deserve treatment like that. If the roommate/squatter and his relatives keep pestering you, get a restraining order. I don't imagine he/they have enough money to hang around much longer. They'll probably be skipping town to avoid the rent arrears. No one is going to believe any BS coming out of their mouths either.

You've got a list of things that you're trying to accomplish -- right??!! More education. Moving to a better neighborhood. Make sure that the steps that you take and the energy that you put out will move you in the direction that you want to go.

'member I told you that The Universe is going to keep putting these "trigger people" up in your face until you learn to not come down on yourself for bad decisions that you think you might have made. You're getting stronger -- keep it up

BIG HUGS.


Barb