BJ,

I want to so bad ask for my husband's forgiveness too. I hope we can both get some peace with our grief. How did you do today?

befuddled2

I want to add my presence here, via our "postal service" lol, to let you know i am, and have been thinking of you. i don't know if you are still in a care facility or back home, but either way, i am wishing you a speedy recovery and stronger sense of self.

I wonder (wrong thread but ) if you KNOW what a trouper you have been, enduring that horrid environment, being PROactive about changing things by seeing the upper management. Theylost a great person and contributor because of their ignorance, fear, intolerance, total lack of compassion and, finally.... yes, IDIOCY. A decent place would have given you a chance and support, based on your extensive positive history.

YOU, BJ
. are aware and sensitive to others.
. showed great courage despite their *&^*&(&*
. showed immense tolerance
. because you wanted to give them a chance,
. because you are a compassionate,
. kind,
. patient and
. undersanding person. and finally...
. you are smart and
. competent.

So i want you to hold your head high and proud and remember the positive attributes i have said about you. if you don't believe them, that's alright, i understand how that goes. but i would like you to remember that I BELIEVE THEM ABOUT YOU. Waves is on the outside and that is what i see.

Also, imho, i don't think your memory leaks right now totally because of the ECT. i believe it is transient due to the trauma from your experience in hospital. And then work => aggravated situational depression and high anxiety. These interfere with the ability to focus, which in turn impedes storing things in memory. The depression and anxiety are not your fault.

i so so so so hope you are getting better and have kind compassionate people looking after you. (i am kind of thinking you are still in hospital since you have not posted but perhaps you are just not up to it right now - that's alright. we will be here when you can.)