Dear Donna,
You had a difficult day.
Are you saying that you refused opportunity for care and treatment because of a get together w/ your mom coming up this weekend? I wasn't sure I read that.

Since you have medical insurance you might be able to get a pulmonary or other dr to refer you to physical therapy or whatever other words they use to help you work out under supervision -- like a hospital gym-type situation.
My friend with pulmonary problems was able to do Tai Chi. And she benefitted from it. An expert would know other forms of exercise that would work for you. I bring up exercise because we remind each other of this on the board. It helps with mood and with the other stuff going on in the body -- balance, flexibility, core strength, .... it connects the mind and body on an energetic level . . .

Maybe you will meet a good pulmonary doc in the ER. Did you see one this time?

Are you on meds that can cause kidney stones? Is that why they got you the ct?

You don't have to answer these questions, by the way. They are my way of chatting.

Your husband's threats to break up sound cruel. It's a type of abuse. I hope that you are seeing a counselor, or at least going to a group therapy situation (that might be cheaper).

I've already suggested that his focus on financial issues could reveal a strong underlying insecurity about something else. Money is almost never money but rather a stand in for something deeper. Not that I am an expert or anything.
I guess my point is to remember that his "stuff" is not about you. You already know that but I am reminding you in case it helps to hear it from someone else again.

In December 1995 I came down with walking pneumonia. My mother got me a yoga tape and did it with me. (There was no use explaining to her that I had walking pneumonia and difficulty doing the breathing exercises. She does not listen.)
Anyway, that was the start of my travels through yoga and my interest in searching out some Eastern traditions of health and wellness.
If you have Eastern opportunities near you, you might find them helpful.


M.

Mari

No I did not turn down being admitted to the hospital. If he had
chosen to admit me I would have been right then and there. The
kidney stones, are what I would call dormant right now. They
are not moving at present, so they are no danger to me. That
is the reason I believe they did the CT scan, the xray I couldn't
hold my breath the way it was needed. So they chose to double
check.

I am giving the antibiotics today to work. They don't seem to
be doing much, but I've just had two doses. I realize its going
to be this afternoon before I know for sure. And my plan is
to go back to ER on the way home if necessary.

I'm doing everything I can for my asthma and the pneumonia.
I just have to wait a little more patiently. I will only be a hour
away from the hospital I was at yesterday if I decide I need to
get back. From home its 30 or 35 minutes anyway.

So its 11/2 hours or so to my moms. So I'm not going that far.
I'm doing this as much for Derrick and my mom. As anything.

I wont put myself into lots of danger and I am watching my
wheezing. If necessary I'll go to the local hospital there.

By the way, I have Physical therapy once a week right now
for my vestibular issues, balance is big right now. And were
working back to the machine that I need to get back on.
And she has me using one of their bikes right now.

And I'm going to a physical therapist 2 a week right now for
my neck and shoulder, but the shoulder should be about over,
but I have a appointment to discuss all this with my primary
on Wednesday January 2nd, and plan to ask her to have the
neck continued.
And for a referal to a different Pulmonary doctor. She might
be able to either get me into the more appropriate for me. Or
one in Indianapolis, and I'll specifically ask a friend to take me.

I now understand why the asthma/allergy doctor is concerned
about the drive. I will not ask my husband to lose a day of
pay to do that. But then I can ask for pulmonary rehabilation
at St Elizabeth which is were I'll be admitted if I end up back
there. Which is why I'll go there. Haven't seen a pulmonary
again yet.

Donna

Donna

Dear Donna,

It sure sounds like the ER did a lot of checking around for you.

You are doing a great job of keeping up with physical therapy and the like.
I need to inspire myself to do more exercise.

I hope that the party tonight goes well, esp for Derrick.

Mari

The party went great for all. But I had a miserable time. Only because I not only felt awful, sounded awful. But had no clue what the heck I was doing half the time. I swear I've never been so out of the fish bowl so to speak.

I had no clue who I was talking to half the time, or what I was saying, it just came out wrong. Thankfully most of the time, people just assumed I was mixing my words up.

My granddaughter who is 7 Deana, was sick she looked worse than me is all I can say. Had no clue she was sick. But she has medicine now. And thanks to her and her mom I made a trip back to ER last night when we returned home.

Her mom drove my car. And bless their souls. We got there about 10:45pm would have been out and back on the road by 12:00 if it hadn't been for a chest emergency and something else that came in while we were being gotten ready to take back. Of course those took first shot. Which neither
of us would not want.

So that would have been say 12:15, not the usual for our other ER 4 or 5 hours. But I was having so much trouble they weren't sure if they were
going to release me, give me more treatments then decide or what.

The Intern like that was handling our cases had her finished, and they were starved, but didn't want to leave till they at least knew if I was staying or leaving. So they waited till 1:30 with me till he came in. Heard the wheezing and coughing, as he thought he was releasing me. Decided he needed a second opinion after a lengthy conversation of maybe 15minutes
about my whole life history of this cough, crouph, bronchitus and asthma.

So the ER attending comes in talks a few minutes, tells me they have decided that they will do a load of steroids, magnesium, another breathing
treatment or 2. I believe the respirtory therapist got to busy to return to see about a third, which was okay we didn't need to wait another 30 minutes.

Anyway, I said any idea how long before you know if I'm leaving or your admitting, he said, its still a call after we will see how you are. But it will
be a while. By now I've learned that is at least one hour. So I told
Sabrina, to hand me my purse, got out the $8.00 I had left told her to
go get Deana's prescription, and go to Steak and Shake and get them
something with that money.

I already knew they had no money, she lives on SSI, and we neither one
thought to ask Devin to loan me a $20 dollar bill. I had given my last
one to my husband, thinking on the way to kokomo I would get him to stop
in our little town and I'd walk in and get a pop for all of us and case a small
amount of extra money.

He decided he didn't want to do that, he wanted to get my $20.00 of gas
on the way home from Kokomo. So my chance for extra money was gone.

And he said something that made me mad on my getting ready to go get them. We had taken my grandson, who is 6 to the party, and he made the statement that since the gameboy that his mother insisted on him taking, was missing and it was left in the car. He would never take him again.

It just made me so mad, on my way out the door, I made the statement,
that I take Ethan all the time, but I never take him in such a hurry I don't
allow them to find his bookbag that it goes in. And I don't make them rush
him when they have already said he isn't going.

To top it off, the reason they weren't going pretty much was his mom had
two teeth pulled I'm guessing yesterday because she didn't have $1000.00
dollars to get them fixed.

She has no insurance, and they aren't married. And with Danny's bills from
his hospital stay she wouldn't have asked for his help this time.

He said, I told her next time to ask me if she needs the money I'll find a way to help. I said to him, her own parents refuse to provide help.

And one of them owes her a car for her graduation, look how many he has promised and taken away and given to her sister. Now he has even bought her sister a house, by puttng the down payment down.

I don't think she is going to ask for help when he isn't willing to keep promises made on small things that are owed. And besides she has asked for help on things and he wanted so much interest, she came over here and requested a loan with a better interest rate, and you loaned it for free.

So what does that tell you. Her mother and step dad help them, but they might not have had that much money to loan right then.

I reminded him that I've even offered to pay for their wedding when they
set the date. In a place that people can attend, because her dad wont unless Danny converts to catholic and they marry in a catholic church.
And he said, something about that, And I said, I don't care where they
get married I just want to be there, and see them have a nice wedding.

There first and I'm pretty sure last. They have been together for 8 years I believe. She is a lot of the reason my son has grown up to the man he is.

And I don't mind admitting that she is his better half. He does too.

But my husband thinks he has done this work, Heehee, till they don't do things the way he thinks they should. Then its someone elses fault.

Which of course is normal. So life is normal at my house.

And you think I just wrote a book here, I came home, cant sleep so I wrote 20 pages in my notebook, because I couldn't find what I needed at the hospital and continued about life in general. And did that feel good, YEp.


Thanks for listening. You guys are the best therapist I have so far.
But just as soon as I have some free time, I plan on finding one.

I just don't have the time right now. I have to find out what is wrong
with me and fix it. I could care less if I fix my marriage, its not broke
by me. And its not my fault.


He is the one with the problems. And if he wants it to work, he can figure out what his problem is. He apologized gave me a big hug. And I am
not even sure what it was for. Other than he told me he didnt' get any sleep till I came home last night. So its definately he is scared and he takes
his scared out on the one thing that doesn't go away.

Me, see this first started on the divorce thing, because his mother had
disowned him for marrying me. Then a few years later, he wanted to
know why she was taking my side one our fight about how to raise the
kids.


I just kind of stick to things and don't go away. But if he doesn't want
me around he knows were the door is. And I know how to go out it.
But he has another thought coming if he thinks Derrick is staying with
him. Derrick has made it clear.

Donna

Dear Donna,
I am making a proclamation that no more ER trips are necessary. You and everybody in your field of influence will have good healthy days and nights from now on.

I'm on my way to bed at last so my note is short. I hope that that is all right.

I hope that the grandbabbies are ok.


This is stupid. The only requirement the Catholic church has is that the other person must have been baptized somewhere sometime in his life -- they don't both have to be Catholic to be married in the Catholic church -- this rule was changed many many years ago.
Well, they have a few other rules, like having to take a little marriage class, depending on the priest and such.

Looking forward to a wedding is good and hopeful.


Wow, his Mom was tough on him --- and on you.

Be ok.

M.

Good Lord Donna, so much has happened since I was here last. Did you ever get a nebulizer? My son's inhaler does very little for him so we rarely use it. How is the prednisone working? Pulmicort with the Albuterol in the nebulizer is what we use when he is really bad and the cough just won't go away.

I am sorry about your husband. He may feel helpless about your condition and you know men like to feel in control so if he feels threatened by the lack of it he may not know how to express it except in anger. Some counseling may do you both good.

I hope that 2008 is better for you than 2007.

Donna - How are you feeling today?

Just checking on you and thinking of you.

Post back when you can.

I hope you are feeling better.

Nikko