Hi BJ,
 

We are playing phone tag but I did leave a message for you.

You don't have to forget your Mom. I can't for my Mom. She use to come to Co. every year to see Bill and me. It's 1200 miles away. She loved it here. She would have moved here with me had I not had 9 brothers and sisters back home. My sister and I talk about her all of the time.

I think New years Day for us was black eyed peas for good luck and we also had pork and sourkraut. I forgot what that was for. I have heard also that whatever you did on New Years day you will do all year long. So you will remember your Mom, you don't have to forget about her.

My sister is sending me a piece of Jam cake that an old family friend made. My Mom use to make the best Blackberry Jam cakes for Christmas. She was laughing about packaging it when she called me last week to tell me she was sending it.

I have lost over 20 relatives to cancer. Brother, 2 sisters, aunts and Uncles and I don't forget any of them. Now I have a brother that is really bad off with colon cancer. It's hard to keep going through losses. I couldn't go to my friends funeral today because of remembering Bill.

I know for you that it's even harder because you are by yourself but keeping busy with things you do such as going to Church and reading helps keep you going too.

I am glad you have a great Dr. too. I think that she will help you the most in this journey. My PCP is like that. I have called him at 11 at night and he talks to me and has assisted in surgeries I have had to keep me from having panic attacks. I have been known to leave the hospitals too soon. I had one Dr. that said he had never had a patient kidnapped before. My PCP came down and got me out of the hospital early because of me being overdosed and then going into panic attacks. My Gyno. called me at home wanting to know how I got out of there. LOL My thing is, when you have someone like your Dr. that really cares then you are not alone.

I am glad your are going to give the VNS another try. Mine is at it's lowest so it's not doing anything yet but I am hoping in time it will. I don't want it back up due to the other side effects that come with it.

I hope you are having a good day and I hope this New Year brings you a lot of happiness and relief from the depression.

Ada

Dear Girlie,
I just wanted you to know that you are cared about...
holding a hug for you...
hope that you are able to sleep...it is restorative.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

BJ
 

just want to let you know i'm thinking of you.

you sound so much better to me, despite the circumstances which haven't changed... you have a great pdoc and thinking in the right direction.

i liked your New Year's honoring your mom, a healing part of grief, and a reminder to you that she is still with you in your heart and always will be.

BJ:hug:~ waves ~