[mrsD]

Just by coincidence I was doing something else this morning and found this blog:
http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/10/23/080527.php

I think this subject brought up by BJ is very important and deserved its own thread.

Using Robert Greene's book The Art of Seduction I have commented on some of his seductive techniques as they are used by online predators.

Many of these seduction techniques are time-tested and often used in sales & marketing as well as the training of Neuro-Linguistic Programming for salesmen and advertising persons. For anyone who thinks those "seduce women now" sites are a joke. - think again. Some are but many aren't. This is powerful, covert stuff that can penetrate the defenses of even the smartest, savviest people.

The article is long, but here are the outline subjects:

How to Do It

1-Choose the Right Victim
2-Create a False Sense of Security - Approach Indirectly~~
Did he tell you that you & he had SO much in common? Did they get you into chatting about life, politics, your family, philosophy? Did they make themselves a confidant and "confide" in you as well? Did they tell you you were the ONLY one who understood them?
3-Send Mixed Signals
Did they say things that made you think HUH? Did they make comments and then tell you they didn't want to talk about it any more? Did you feel they were churning inside and you could "help" them? Did they use Confusion Technique talk with you or "word salad"? Stuff that made you think HUH... yet you felt funny about calling them on it?
4-Appear to be an Object of Desire - Create Triangles
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT IMO
Did they have the spouse who would kill themselves if they knew the person you are chatting with didn't love them any more? Did they tell you their former fiance or partner was the best sexual partner ever and/or they still talk frequently with them? Did they miss their "past glories" because all they wanted to do was "please" someone and "make them happy?" Did they suggest they might be looking for something a little better.... even a little better than you? Of course they would NEVER come right out and say that! Do a search on triangulation - an online predator's favorite 'position.'
I think this pertains to friendships too...just remove the sexual connotations.
5-Create a Need: Stir Anxiety and Discontent
6-Master the Art of Insinuation
7-Enter Their Spirit
Did they seem to be so much like you it was eerie? Did you find them mirroring you? Stealing your words, phrases, thoughts and even parts of your personality? If the relationship is over, did you meet someone else who told you about the predator and what was told them and realize "that was MY story" and they told it as if it was their own!
Very important, IMO
8-Create Temptation
9-Keep Them in Suspense: What Comes Next
10-Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion
11-Pay Attention to Detail
12-Poeticize Your Presence
Online psychopaths are masters at this. As pointed out above - did they disappear from the net or from you for days or weeks without a word? You call their cell phone and got voicemail? Are they busy for a while, off to work conference or with family for a while? Can't talk to you because something's come up and they are SO SORRY. Yet when they do "pop" on to say hi they are VERY concerned about YOU and said "HI" because they were 'thinking of you so much' and 'upset that they haven't been there for you.' RIGHT......
.....

There are 23 such entries! The article is very long, too long to post here.
I really urge interested people, to read this. Had I had this info earlier, I would have been spared much pain, as well.
My added comments are in bold in the quotes. <hint>

So this is what I suggest (and what I am doing)...
If you have been hurt, have problems with boundaries, or feel yourself being drawn in by an infatuation(sexual or nonsexual)
stop and go back to this article and try and identify what tricks may be present.