I just emailed my domestic violence counseler for an appointment next week.

All of a sudden, I seem to be having nightly dreams about my ex husband, and they aren't bad. This totally blows me out of the water. Why now?

Plus my other problem, with no sexual desire whatsoever. I even called my PCP for this and she gave me some pills you insert. The side effects aren't a walk in the park either. I tried them for awhile.
Not much of a difference.

I think it is all me, not Dirk. But deep down I don't know. Maybe I just don't feel the attraction, but I do, oh I don't know.

My PCP doesn't want to give me any high does of hormones, I suppose because I had a hysterectomy in my 30's, and I will not go through any type of menapause.

I am a mess. The only good thing happening is my courses through the University of Ashworth.

No sun today yet.

I was supposed to make appointment for blood work for my p-doc.

2. A appt for this Dr. to check for colon cancer through my PCP.
and
3. A appt to check again for vaginal cancer.

I did none of the above. The first are because I had cancer, the 2nd because my mom and grandma had polps and a tumor there, the blood work just a annual check.

I am just sick of Dr's. and really don't want to go through anymore. Plus then I get bills up the ----- because Medicare A and B do not cover everything.

Just me venting and going fast down a spiral staircase.

Hugs to all, Nikko

Nikko,

I am wondering if it isn't Dirk that is the problem with your sex drive. You said he didn't want to take you out. You may be feeling somewhat let down with Dirk. You might as well be married to him the way things look now.

No, I don't think so. We didn't go out last night because he had to work today, because his boss had a gall bladder attack and was rushed to the hospital.

It's not a good weekend money wise either. So, you think we are acting married and it's not a good thing, yet I have all these other issues that I believe is the cause. I don't feel married at all.

Nikko

and this is what scares me for you coming off the cymbalta sweetie....
hope you can get some sleep tonight.
((((HUGS))))
bizi