I think I may have mentioned that a week ago, I went and signed up for a job interview for seasonal work at the mall. That interview is now for about 2 1/2 hours from now. I have a fear about jobs. I always seem to quit them. I can't stand being told what to do in a job situation (choir is different; judo is different). I HAVE to show up for work. I HAVE to do this or that there. I can't stand that. Last job I had, I did show up on time (just before 6 a.m.) and stayed the 3 hours. It was just a trial, so I never got paid. But I never went back- mostly because the people there were idiots and annoying AND the boss SCREAMED at one of the managers behind his office door, not far from where I was working. I figured I'd be screamed at sometime, so I wasn't about to put up with that. I can think of two jobs where I just left. Walked out at lunch or whenever and never came back. It makes me feel "free". It makes me feel like nobody knows where I am- and I love it. I am now in MY world- not anybody else's.

So I have this job interview at 1:30 and I'm afraid to go. I know I could use the money and "something to do" and that its only until January, but I got the application and interview time on that day that I was trying to put my entire life together in one day- job, house, husband....