I've been sitting her cutting and cutting most of the night and all I have is a bunch of meaningless pictures. I don't even know what they mean, I just cut away. I wish I could remember what cookie my mom liked. I have so many holes in my memory because of the treatments. I can remember all the bad things but can't remember what kind of cookie my mom liked. As the day draws closer and closer I'm beating myself up all over again. Why can't I just get it through my head that I did what I could for her. :(

You are being so hard on yourself...
would you be this hard on some one else?
no you wouldn't.
Maybe you could look at yourself as someone else...
I know that sounds weird but maybe you can try to see yourself as someone who has been thru a great deal..someone who has courage and is brave..like a warrior, ...cause that is what you are.
You can be proud of this.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Dear Me BP?, http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/happy/applause.gif
Oh, you did a great job by moving into the first steps and trying out what your therapist suggested. That's huge. Tell yourself, "good job."

You don't have to remember what cookie she liked.
I can't remember what cookie my mom likes even though we used to bake together when I was a child. But my mom does have a huge sweet tooth -- so any cookie would work in this kind of desire/emotions book. ;)

I'm going to guess that you cut out all good pictures. You chose the pictures for some reason. They probably do have meaning.
You can proceed to the next step and put them in the scrap book.


You were a good daughter to her and she loved you. Remind yourself of that. And everyday you do a good job simply by getting through it.


Mari

Vision board to my Red Bug!
 

Yes I use a vision board! When I want to manifest something into my life...I use pictures to help me vision it.
I took a picture of a red VW convertable out of a mag and hung it in my office and looked at it until I actually could feel the wind!
I now have that bug in my garage!
:winky:[

Welcome Misty!

The red bugs are such cool cars. :)

Mari

Hi MeBP

Did you like to color when you were a kid? I say that because I did and I also like computers. So one day, I just started playing the the MS Paint program that comes on most computers. I had a lot of fun with it and it was very therapeutic as well. I drew stick people and crude houses and mom standing in the window watching me play with my dog under a tree on a sunny day. Things like that, things that (little me) :o might want to draw. In fact, I still have them on my computer. I really suprised myself at how much came out during that exercise and no one told me to do it. I just felt like it. And it was a lot of fun. If you have a white board, color on it even if you don't show her. I think you will get a lot of it. Just be a little girl. I think the pictures in magazine would turn me off too. They are too prestaged and let's face it they are other people. No one that you care about, I'm sure.

Mari, sorry your thread got hijacked a little. Somehow, I think that you don't mind. :wink:

Good Luck to both of you.

Hi, Looking4hope,

Hey, I'm cool. I just wish that I was as creative as everybody else here. http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/happy/fluffy.gif
M.