[dyslimbic]

I have an emotional dysregulation problem.I also tend to post a lot of useful information to a number of forums.Unfortunately from time to time i lose the plot big time. It's part of my symptom profile. It's funny how some symptoms are more acceptable than others even though none of us get to choose the symptoms we have.
You never get to see someone blocked or banned from a forum for being depressed and yet depression is no more or less a valid symptom than emotional volatility.

Much is rightly made about discrimination and mental illness but it is beyond any reasonable intellectual debate that a form of apartheid occurs when it comes to the tolerance shown to some symptoms/behaviours of mental illness over others.

It is one reason i have an ambivalent view of all mental health forums. It's in my altruistic nature to try and help but i am very wary of forums because of the invariably negative response i receive when ironically i need the most support because i am struggling the most with the kind of things that make me mentally ill.

I have no doubt that someday unless such apartheid ends i will be forced to quit forums altogether .The straw is only waiting for the right camel's back to be broken.

[moose53]

Hey, ((((((Tim))))))

Interesting viewpoint.

Even though "society" has gotten more 'civilized' about mental illness in some ways -- it really hasn't.

Do you keep your mouth shut and not tell anyone that you have 'issues'??!!

Or, do you shout it from the rooftop -- I HAVE ISSUES!!??

Personally, I am of the rooftop-shouting persuasion. I've done a HUGE AMOUNT of hard work to get to the place that I'm in now. It seems like such a waste to learn all this and to not pass it on to someone that can, hopefully, use it.

I figure if someone doesn't like my rooftop-shouting, they can read something else -- there's tons of stuff in the world to read.

Even though the mental illness is what I've struggled with most of my life, the compassion isn't just for those who are just starting on the path that I've been on for ages. I like to do research. If I find something about PSP or MS or a new treatment for epilepsy, I try to pass it on.

Tim, you might very well have character flaws. It's taken me a lifetime to figure out that 100% of the inhabitants of this planet have character flaws Just because someone gave us a label at some point in our lives doesn't mean that we're any more defective that anybody else in the universe. Maybe "they" just never showed up to pick up their label We're all more alike than we are different.

You know, Tim, when I was a kid my Dad actually taught me that I should hang all my clothes hangers facing in the same direction in case there was a fire -- that way I could grab all my clothes and get out of the house fast.

It took me until I was 50 years old and my neighbors' house caught on fire -- a bad-bad, fast-moving fire -- to realize that you're more concerned with getting the kids and the handicapped adult and the bed-ridden Father out of the house. No one gave a FIG for the darn clothes.

We spend our whole lives trying to learn lessons that are forced on us by dysfunctional parents or other adults or that are forced on us by our mis-firing brains -- only to find out that a lot of the crap that we worry about DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.

I still hang the hangers facing all in the same direction. But, I don't FIX IT when others don't do the same as me.

I used to actually go buy new stockings if I had a ladder in one before work. Now, I don't give a ship.

All that crap I wasted my time learning doesn't matter.

As for me, I'm gonna keep SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS because it has to be done and the more people that do it, the more acceptable it becomes to be **ME** and **YOU**.

:GRIN: BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb

[Mari]

Originally Posted by moose53

I used to actually go buy new stockings if I had a ladder in one before work. Now, I don't give a ship.

Dear Moose,
You work at a job where you have to wear stockings!!!
I am sooo loving my job right now!

I appreciated your hangers story. Imagin teaching a child to do something like that In case of a fire? !
Actually when my younger sister comes to my place she does all my hangers the same way. ... So does my friend who helped me move (but she used to work in clothing retail) . I've mostly followed their leads -- although I'm not sure why it matters.

Enjoyed your posts.

Mari

[Mari]

Dear T,
I understand what you are saying. People allow us to be depressed on-line but not many of the other things that comes with various mental disorders -- like angry, irritated, confused, jumpy,........

But it is not only true of my on-line experience. In real life (so to speak) people can deal with me when I depressed, but when I am in one of my wild moods they get defensive or try to get away from me. You are right to point this out.


The worst thing about on-line MI forums is that we are self-segregated usually. Usually the forum is made up of other people with mental illness, not like in my other word where the ratio is skewed to those with dx'd mental illness being in the minority.
The on-line communities should be more accepting.


How do you think that people can be more helpful to people on-line when they get in a mood that is not commonlly acceptable to other people?

Mari

[dyslimbic]

Originally Posted by Mari

Dear T,
I understand what you are saying. People allow us to be depressed on-line but not many of the other things that comes with various mental disorders -- like angry, irritated, confused, jumpy,........

But it is not only true of my on-line experience. In real life (so to speak) people can deal with me when I depressed, but when I am in one of my wild moods they get defensive or try to get away from me. You are right to point this out.


The worst thing about on-line MI forums is that we are self-segregated usually. Usually the forum is made up of other people with mental illness, not like in my other word where the ratio is skewed to those with dx'd mental illness being in the minority.
The on-line communities should be more accepting.


How do you think that people can be more helpful to people on-line when they get in a mood that is not commonlly acceptable to other people?

Mari

Some forums have what is called a 'resting room' where you can voluntarily put yourself if you are losing it or just don't feel up to the main forums or can be put in by site owner/mods. You can sound off there but don't have access to other areas.Other people can choose to 'visit' you in there but for the purpose of being supportive rather than tearing you off a strip or two.

It's better than being banned and left thinking 'I was ok when i was feeling well enough to be helpful but now i'm feeling crap and dysphoric i've been banished with 'LEPER' stamped on my forehead.

What hurts me most is that those who most find fault with people like me are the one's that may not do much wrong but sure as hell don't put themelves out to help others like a wayward creature like myself does.

[ZombieSlayer]

Nevermind...

[Mari]

Originally Posted by dyslimbic

Some forums have what is called a 'resting room' where you can voluntarily put yourself if you are losing it or just don't feel up to the main forums or can be put in by site owner/mods. You can sound off there but don't have access to other areas.Other people can choose to 'visit' you in there but for the purpose of being supportive rather than tearing you off a strip or two.

Dear T,
These are very good ideas.
Mari

[OneMoreTime]

Life is a learning process and none of us will ever learn all there is to learn...

but if we learn enough to help our fellow man face a day, even an hour, with uplifted spirit and hopeful heart, then we have learned what we were meant to learn.

[OneMoreTime]

I have seen us here -the ones from OBT, replying to Tim and calling him only "T" ....

And I wanted us to remember WHY we started doing that
* which was to protect Tim from automatic banning the moment a mod became aware that he had crept back, needing us.

And I wanted us to recognize that here we don't have to be scared to recognize him as Tim, alone since Brenda died last year .. and we can address him from now on as Tim, not "T"

And we no longer have to refrain from mentioning Tim when he disappears, "afraid of catching it too."

And we can do as we do for the rest of our family -- when we wonder about one another when a period of stress and distress are followed by a sudden unexplained absence. We can mention him. We can ask about him and ask him to check in with us.

It makes me feel good that Tim has come SO FAR that he is able to express himself so eloquently, his intellect and intelligence shining brightly. In the past, Tim would blow up when he was hurt, say things he later regretted...

And, of course, he was always coming back with a brand new name. Mostly this was because his old account had been banned.

But a couple of times, I saw him come back after an absence with a new name, even tho he hadn't been banned. And I didn't understand why that was. This week I finally learned. When Tim registers, he has come to choose a password that he will never remember. And he registers with a temporary mail account that elapses within a short time. Why?

Because as this forum became more and more important to him, he created this way of joining so that when he became upset, he would briefly refrain from posting an angry response - and during that crucial moment, he would instead log out. And, given that the mail account no longer existed, he could not retrieve his password.

Yes, he could have immediately rejoined and exress his outrage. But this forum meant enough to him where he didn't do that. He waited til the upset was over and he could manage to put what happened in the past (mostly) and give it a new try. He did that for us. He did that for himself.

So when Tim comes back this time, he will be with another screenname, but he is not trying to hide or sneak around -- he simply has to get a new one. When you suddenly see posted links again, we no longer have to pretend we don't recognize him. We can enthusiastically welcome him home. And call him Tim.

This is a new world.

And a warm welcome to Chemar and KimmyDawn, our new mods.

Theresa

[Mari]

Tim, You are very brave.

Theresa, Thanks.

Mari