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05-29-2008, 08:58 PM
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Wisest Elder Ever
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by gooseman at psych central:
Snow hides the glare of summer Provides a place to hide From the prying eyes of life And the anguish so hard to abide But the phantom drifts all melt away By the blazing sun of the world real And the blizzard haze proves to not obscure Nor dull those things you wish not to feel The silence becomes a friend A warmness to the mind, a soothing song An embrace through the night A peace for which you long Dark turns into an eternity Stretching, haunting, with no rest Thoughts race faster than in day’s light With no sound to interrupt this nightly test Elation, euphoria, pureness of joy You can take on the world and make it yours Your own to control, to have, to hold Mountains, people, air, water and shores But you can have none of it It is only fiction, a myth, an illusion The dream explodes, hammers your soul And reveals itself as nothing but delusion You find your self in the reality of others Slow, stable, a well respected, steady pace You can do this, what they tell you is right This is how to pursue life, to win the chase There is no hope, no future, no goals You simply exist, try to survive the despair You do as others say, with every ounce of strength But the truth is you just really no longer care The joy of helping others drives you The one great purpose of life To guide, to aid, to hold a hand in love Shepherd through the hurdles and strife But when will they appreciate you sacrifice When will they recognize and thank your effort Will you ever be afforded a turn in kind Where and when do you get support The medicines help to calm, to ease the swings To level you mind and ease the pains Talking and breathing techniques to relax Slowly helps give progress and gains It also bring fears of loss of control Fear of losing track of who you want to be We are not puppets, not someone else’s to mold We want to control ourselves, to feel, to see We did not ask for this, often we lose control Quit acting like it is our fault, we are not to blame They might mean well with their words But sometimes they seem to think this a game It is hard to explain to others These are not just highs and lows To those who have not experienced This form of life’s mental blows. Illness? I suppose. Condition? Sure. It is something far more though, Sometimes a curse, Sometimes an adventure, A loss of control, A loss of far more, But it is also who I am.
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. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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