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Quote:

Originally Posted by tritone (Post 314609)

Hi Mari -

No, She asked my son to keep track of when his Mother was going out and leaving him to be in charge. She probably shouldn't have asked him to do that. When I was 6 and 7 my parents got divorced. It was very difficult, and since then any inter-familial tension has been EXTREMELY difficult for me. That event (phone call) plus the depression from the benzos, knocked me right back 35 years...

I've been seeing my PDoc much more frequently and for longer sessions. I am continuing to stay of the benzos. I'm taking a slightly higher dose of lithium.

I've been trying to do things like deep breathing. I had mentioned the Eckhart Tolle book and the idea of mindfulness... I've also been doing some research on the dialectical therapy you mentioned. I've been suffering from some minor but highly aggravating physical issues, but those seem to be improving. I'm taking a very different tack at work. I cut way back on my caffeine. I really need to start exercising again, but between the probation appointments, and therapy, and the doctors, and work its tough to fit much else in... or at least fit it in and have any time at home with my wife... i'm a bit on thin ice at work due to the absences and the mysterious hospitalization (I can only wonder what they are thinking about that...).
.

T,
We can not change the past and can only go forward. THere are many available good doctors and support groups, but you have to like yourself. I mean that you close the door to those things in the past you can not change and desire to be the best person you can be today and tomorrow. One day little steps. But, ther has to be a burial of all the past. Don;t replay it like a movie, this just builds in your body the strength to control the same way you practice a golf swing.

From my professional experiance, your wife was not acting proper to ask this of your son. I can understand why she did it, but it is for the professionals to establish. Kids should at all times not be in the middle of their parents legal matters. Let them be kids and do the battle for them behind the scene.

At 15 years old, even with Adhd there may be a fine line for them to determin if he is babysitting for a younger sibling, is it Ok. That is not our determination, it is his doctors and the system let them do their job. Kids don't want to be in the middle! I work with those kids.

Keeping your appointments, distancing and just being there for support. But, give yourself permission to do someething for yourself. The probation is maybe a once a month, the TDoc, Pdoc visits should be primary focus right now to help you regroup and prioitize your life.

Also, your children do not need on top of everything else to deal with a parent to be taken from them.

All this shall pass. If you have a spiritual belief then cling to it. Tell your wife the refocus is about you, her and your life and get done things in theorder. You employment to keep your home, a group therapy and professional real good doc. The pain doc should help you with refering for biofeedback and support breathing that they will work with you instead of trying to remember it.

I learned putting my hand on my low tummy was not right positioning, it is mid way on the diaphram. This is how babies breathe, and we should. We lose this at sometime. I think I lost it when I transitioned from highschool to working my own beauty shop business but controling Mom that drove me to work in the car I bought! I had perpertual fear of her....She beat me, a lot, injuring me. Even into adult hood I had scars from her scratching and digging fingers into my arms. Until I remarried 16 years ago. I am now 53.

But stop playing the movie reel of the past, look at the dreams of the future. Your Tdoc can even suggest how to handle the media and things a work.

We may never have the answers to somethings, and need to be put to rest.
Pray, present a strong person to the family, be that person through all the means available.

These feeling come from letting that movie of life past mistakes replay. Turn it off, become our own advocate and watch what goodness you can create. Desire it, live it, find it.
di

Quote:

Originally Posted by DiMarie (Post 315620)

I learned putting my hand on my low tummy was not right positioning, it is mid way on the diaphram. This is how babies breathe, and we should.

Dear DiMarie,
Where is the right positioning? Sorry to sound dumb.
Above belly button for example?

M.

Hi Mari,
We tend to breath from our chest watching it rise. But I was trying to feel just below the belly button and the Psych refreshing my breathing said above the belly button, put little finger about belly button waist area and feel from there where we want to build strenght to the diaphgram. Concentrate on feeling it rise.

Instead of how I had retreated to puffing my chest. In times of stress, which seems daily for me I go back to that chest puffing and rising.
Hope that helps if I find a link I will post,
di

Thank you, Di.

This helps.
I need to need to be reminded of how to breathe.

M.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DiMarie

But stop playing the movie reel of the past

For someone dealing with intense suffering, hearing this is torture, but I can't agree more.

tritone, if you're open to trying new things I suggest you visit They have a great (free) tool for dealing with painful emotions called Emotional Freedom Technique. I was skeptical when first told about it, but it's helped me let go of so much emotional baggage that I can't recommend it enough.

Sorry if that sounded like an advertisement, but it's helped a lot of people heal and if there's any chance it can do the same for you, you deserve to know about it.

Emotional Freedom Technique

Hi, Saharie,
Did you learn eft from a practitioner or by yourself?
Did you benefit from it?

Tritone,
I second the look into eft.
This web site is all junky looking but it provides lots of ways to learn about the technique.
http://www.emofree.com/
I got the free pdf file.
I also get updates in email.

Also you can go to youtube and find that lots of people are tapping to help themselves.

I was told that the tapping points correspond to accupunture points. My accupunturist taught me to tap in series of threes. Do all the points with the words three times. Then take a break. Try again.

It's free.
It's easy to do.
It works for some people.
It might be worth a good try.

Mari

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotion...edom_Technique

Quote:

Proponents of EFT claim it relieves many psychological and physical conditions, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, general stress, addictions and phobias. More extreme claims have been made for multiple sclerosis and one proponent claims that "you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer.'"

The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. The theory behind EFT is that negative emotions are caused by disturbances in the body's energy field and that tapping on the meridians while thinking of a negative emotion alters the body's energy field, restoring it to "balance."

The theory states that negative emotions are built in the following stages: A negative experience occurs; negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience, leading to inappropriate programming inside the body; and then the body's energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions.

The contention of EFT is that in order to remove the negative responses, tackling the negative experience is not enough, because doing so cannot correct the energy imbalance. Rather, the energy imbalance must be restored along with curing the negative emotions.

There is more on the wikipedia page about the three peer reviewed studies on this -- science doesn't show that this works. Big surprise. Still, this helps some people.

Hi Tritone

I too would like to say i comend your openness and bravery in sharing your story.I am a firm believer in offloading baggage..so by openly talking about yor life will help the healing process for you.

MRS Bear sad something i also believe.....if you ask god for forgiveness in true sincerity its granted......its like posting a letter ...you trust it gets to its intended destination..........

Religion is an awkward subject............i feel sadly rather than born sinners... that we inherit our parents, guilt..and fears....., &they inherited their parents and so on...

maybe thats why each generation tries to give their offspring more than they had.............

There are two days you should never think about....yesterday [because you can never alter what happened] and tomorrow [because you cannot fortell what will happen in the future] that leaves TODAY and you can do an awful lot in a DAY.......but that is down to the individual.

Tritone you have a way with words...........may i suggest you write your life story down..............it may raise inner issues...but then as said before like baggage they are then discarded...............equally the story could be helpful to others understand Bi-polar and some of its characteristics....equaly you inadvertantly leave a clear and heartfelt explanation to your daughter and son..

I hear your distress and feel for you i also feel for your family, healing is a long process...................TALKING IS GREAT MEDICINE.