I think so too befuddled2. It might not be easy but then it's will still keep our family together and role changes can only be a good thing for me and Jack for things to get better between us IMO. thanks for posting!

Pam, I have been reading and keeping your family in my prayers. It has to be so heavy a burden for you.

I did want to ask if you check at the schools financial aid office to see if you still qualify for a state grant. I took part time classes, three a semester, not full time and the PELL did not cover, but the state grant did as did the help from office of vocational rehab. I got $3,000 a year from them. Also a laptop and software, rolling book bag.

Let Jackie be in Gods hands and he will keep him safe. Your jack is an adult and can figure it out for himself. If your family had been a priority for him this crisis would not have happened. He contributed but not doing a parents 50% share. I know you said respit care did not help, I think. But is there a second chance to think of that? Just enogh for you to get to a few classes.
Wishing for happiness

di

Jackie just shoved me into a dresser, I was fighting with him for my freaking chair again...like the second time in under twenty minutes, the first was when I went to the bathroom...How would any normal human like to have someone pulling on their feet/legs the entire time they are going to the bathroom? Sound like fun? Neither is the alternative of hearing him bashing at the door if I lock it....So he tried taking my chair then and ruined the chances again I had of being able to use the restroom effectively if you get my drift....

I am so angry I want to cry and move out all over again because of this abusive brat who needs what I can't give him anymore. He won't be able to push people around in a group home. Man I am in pain right now, I was sitting on the sofa just minding my own business and he came over laughing and tried to take my chair, got it in the bedroom with me hopping to try to sit in it and get it back, and he refused, he yanked it out of my hands and then shoved me over HARD into a dresser, I could be on my way to a hospital right now had I hit it wrong, but I hit the flat side of it NOT the corner, that could have gone from my neck down to my pelvis.

I NEED out of here, this isn't going to work, Jack is supposed to be helping but he keeps going back to his room. It's not working. I guess I am back to planning with Jack for a group home placement to hell with this, I don't deserve to continually be abused like this and I refuse to just go out there, get a job and work only to have him hutr me bad enough I CAN"T GO IN the next day, Nope not gonna happen, back to the original plan....

I heard back from the worker and she said that they will not place him because we don't have behavior services-WTF was having a hevaiorist out here once a week for over a year then??? I am so freakin' upset! They won't place him....Yet if Jack left they would? Makes no sense. I am gonna have to leave and abandon Jackie and give up my parental rights I'm afraid...I can't go on with this child's abusive behavior. I don't know what else to do.

Dear Pam,
It sounds like things are topsy turvy right now.
This isn't making sense at all.
I hope you find what you need.
Lots of hugs and good vibes,

Mari

Six months is what we have to go through with the new aide and behaviorist, I could be really injured before that...I am so upset! I don't think it's going to work but I just have to endure this or move out to mom's. We'll see how it goes...right now I don't want to be here anymore. Hence the 'scared' mood indicator, which I think will stay for now because I totally AM scared.

How long before the computer game gets shut down and Jack has nothing to run to his den to? You guys are going to have to make a plan. He cannot leave you alone with Jackie for long periods of time. Krikey not for any length of time really.

Christina is right.
At a minimum, Jack is supposed to protect your safety.
Maybe move his computer games out into the family area.

How soon can they get your aid/aids there? And how many hours a day would he be there?

Can you get someone in the home to evaluate the situation?
Does Jackie have an ability to be nice when someone else is around?

Keep track in a log of some sort about his actions each day.

The main thing is that someone in charge of the group home situation has to see that you need serious intervention right now.
How can that be achieved I wonder.

Mari

I know, hopefully it will work out that way now after last night, Jackie's been home for a few hours and hasn't tried anything but his affectionate choking. *rolleyes* I have to hope that we'll get a behaviorist out here this next week if not this week. We need help like yesterday. I had a long reply written and Jackie came over and change the page to his Nick.com without asking so I lost it. He has no respect for anyone or anything. SO frustrating.

I don't want you to think I didn't hear you Di, I already called Voc Rehab the other day and in FL they are too broke to help with squat, I really was pretty disappointed. However I am not giving up I was just thinking about getting a 9.50 an hour job in customer service entry level and going from there, only thing is I won't do that now, not after last night, I can just see having to lose the job because I got put into the hospital by my son...

I definitely do not feel safe, but apparently the state of fl KNOWS better, so I should just not worry...What a joke. I am so upset. I am starting a document to jusitify placement by documenting the violence going back as far as I can remember. Like when it really got bad, two years ago. He was kicking and hitting me all of forty separate times a freakin' day. That is just ridiculous. But he was more managable back then too at ten then he is here looking at twelve.

You know what?
I like the idea of your getting a job.
Let Jack deal with Jackie while you are gone.
And while you are gone, you are safe.

I especially like how having a job can empower someone. You might benefit from being more independent of your family situation.

. . . .just some thoughts.
You actually need a professional to come out to your house (unless you think that Jackie will act like a cute well behaved cherub during that time.)

Mari