How does Jackie act when someone else is in the house? You told me about the aide but if you had someone come in and just observe his behavior to help document, like we talked about getting some video, would his behavior still be the same?

I agree with Mari so much
Bobby

Shoot if I lived next door I would come over on and off a couple of days and get some footage. Too bad you can't hook up some nanny cams.

The only good news is that having someone else in the house will allow my words I've just written to be backed up further. The aide will come out to the house, as will the behavior analyst they have in mind. And we'll go from there, but I swear if I get injured in the meantime heads WILL Roll, If they think it's saving them a few thousand dollars to put this off, just wait til they see the bill taking care of a quadraplegic for the rest of her life due to management's negligence in identifying a seriously dangerous situation where placement could be justified by the evidence they already have gathered over the past two years.

I am wondering if it Isn't JUMPING THE GUN by getting a lawyer advocate and threatening them if they don't take immediate action.
my cousin threatened his school board with a lawsuit on behalf of his son with asperger's(sp) and they knew he meant business and put his son in a special boarding school that cost them 30,000 a year. My cousin is usually a laid back carpenter until crossed.
bobby

I am going to look into it Bobby, I will have to go to the mat on this one I think, for the moment I wrote a three and a half page letter talking about the violence, documenting it for them and expressing my worry about him hurting me or even killing me. And asking who will be accountable for what will happen if he impacts my neck making me a full quadriplegic or worse? If this doesn't result in them placing Jackie sooner rather then later I will have to go down the legal route, because I don't think we're gonna see results from starting up behavior interventions again, it only puts off the inevitable and I want OUT. I am seriously in fear for my life with him now.

I have to run this letter by mom tomorrow and see what she thinks and then maybe run it by Jack, he will get angry if I send it, but damnation, what can I do? It's MY life we're talking about here, not his...it will do no one any good if I end up dead or hurt and further disabled then I already am. If the letter doesn't give us any results then it will be time to seek out a lawyer or else just move out and see that he gets placed then because Jack won't be able to do it on his own right now. I really wish this could have worked but it's just not possible anymore, he's too big and angry.

Pam

Honestly even if you move out the odds are that Jackie will not get placed.
The odd's of him being placed are better if Jack were the one to move out.

Reason being it would be harder for you to do all the things Jackie needs
by yourself. And honestly you would have to document that you can
do all the things yourself.

Thats part of your problem now you have done things way to much for
Jack now. And Jackie has gotten away with way to much.

Try sending a letter to the governor for one thing.

Donna

Pam,
You have friend here.

Donna,
You state things so clearly.


Mari

Dear Pammy,
I am worried about you on many levels.
YOu are doing an amzing job of keeping it all together, the stress sounds awful....
How is your bipolar doing?
How is your depression?
Are you having any panic attacks?
HOw is your anxiety?
all of these questions are additional bits of information that can be disabling for you as well.
I agree about getting some legal advice...intervention...perhaps you could talk with someone if they helped you to get disability..I don't know...
Too much stress can lead to hypomania....The ability to resist impulsive decisions....
It seems that you are doing a super job in all of this...I don't know how you are handling all of this...I could not do it.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Writing Ole' Charlie Crist sounds like a good idea! And you're right Donna, while Jack is here they don't want to place Jackie. And Jack wants to be here while Jackie is here. It's not fair. I have to keep up doing all I've been doing and somehow remain happy. NOT POSSIBLE. Jackie continues to act out on me, just this morning he came into my room and laid on the bed with me, it's a dangerous situation when I go to get up, that is when he shoves me to the floor onto my chair. And darn if he didn't try and then he gets mean when I go to stand up....so I did my damndest to get up quickly and he kicked me in the crotch hard...I broke my pelvis in numerous places in the motorcycle accident so it definitely hurt when he did that.

I just feel so powerless, and sadly I am powerless to effect change. I don't know what to do. I wish Jack would leave, but I don't see that happening. I've been waiting for that since May when he said he was 'close to leaving' *sigh* I feel the depression is getting to me and the anxiety? Ugh it's through the roof! My counselor called yesterday returning my call from Friday when all bets were off and I was certain things were ending. And I told her I keep on taking my Lorazepam and my anxiety is just eating away at my stomach. She said, "Of course it will, because it's related to your situation, your stress level right now is terrible so it's all situational, when do you come see me again?" and I told her september 15th and she said she had a cacellation for tomorrow (meaning Weds) and I said I'll take it!

I don't know how we're going to get through this next two almost three weeks of no school, but once I get to the point where school is back in session it's going to be much easier to manage my stress and anxiety because he's gonna be back at school for full days five days a week. He does so much better with school then he does in summer school. I just can't take much more. He could really hurt me over what's left of the summer. And I will just have to live with that? God help me it's so unfair....Thank heavens I have all of you to post to. I really NEED your support, I just wish this letter I wrote would be enough to get placement set up, or that Jack would leave.