Three Women, Two Younger, And One Senior Citizen, Were Sitting Naked In A
Sauna. Suddenly There Was A Beeping Sound. The Young Woman Pressed Her
Forearm And The Beep Stopped.

The Others Looked At Her Questioningly. "that Was My Pager,"
She Said. I Have A Microchip Under The Skin Of My Arm.

A Few Minutes Later, A Phone Rang. The Second Young Woman Lifted Her Palm
To Her Ear. When She Finished, She Explained, "that Was My Mobile Phone. I
Have A Microchip In My Hand."

The Older Woman Felt Very Low Tech. Not To Be Outdone, She Decided She Had To Do Something Just As Impressive. She Stepped Out Of The Sauna And Went To The Bathroom. She Returned With A Piece Of Toilet Paper Hanging From Her Rear End.

The Others Raised Their Eyebrows And Stared At Her. The Woman Finally
Said, "well, Will You Look At That... I'm Getting A Fax!!

Barb

Befuddled,
Thanks.
Mari

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


I Needed That....it Was Great.


Nikko

cant........stop........laughing........OMG....... .LMAO.

That one is getting emailed to everyone I know ROFL. Thanks for this!!

The Hormone Hostage!!

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER:Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST:Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
SAFER:You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?
SAFER:I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some more wine.


13 Things PMS Stands For:

1 Pass My Shotgun

2 Psychotic Mood Shift

3 Perpetual Munching Spree

4 Puffy Mid-Section

5 People Make me Sick

6 Provide Me with Sweets

7 Pardon My Sobbing

8 Pimples May Surface

9 Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect





Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!

...Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks ... but Chocolate SINGS!!!

LOL,

befuddled2

I received this one today and thought it so unique!

This is a good one,
Dianne

I don't know if the following is true, but based on the years I worked, dealing with federal laws and regulations, on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give it at least an 8.

As most of you receiving this know, New Orleans residents are challenged often with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.

With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client that I thought was absolutely priceless! You got to love this lawyer...It's too good not to share!

Anyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.


A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the propose collateral property back to 1803.

Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received.

I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application.

I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by 'Right of Conquest' from Spain.

The land came into the possession of Spain by 'Right of Discovery' made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.

The good Queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.

I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory.

Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was approved.

bwahahahahahahah omg that is priceless LOL!

LOL,

I posted that one somewhere else.

befuddled2