I know the road looks dark Friend but just remember God is holding you in the palm of His hand and I’m holding you in my heart.

I know that you know what suffering for a long time is like. This thing with my Dad,and sister is like being hurt in a safe place. They are going to let me fall into the Social Services,or SSD like a hot potato. I'm astonished. She said she would not let it happen before. So Social Services, or streets. This shakes me up,and leaves me feeling their cold.

Thank you for your warmth in the middle of your hardship. I receive your warmth,and thank you so kindly. BF

Brokenfriend,

I am sorry to hear of your struggles with your family. I truly understand--long story that I can't share...but I do understand where you are....

I wanted to let you know that I felt the same way as you about getting help from social services and social security.... I felt as if I was falling into darkness by needing help.

It took a new and not a close friend but dear friend to help me to realize that these are not a hand out but an helping hand up.

Once I changed (actually just shifted) my own mindset about accepting help from Social Services and applying for SSDI... I am taking small (baby sized) but forward steps in my own personal growth.

Since I have applied for SSDI and state medicaid and I have been in the denial and wait phase...I was able to get into a doctor on a sliding scale. I am also seeing a tdoc and a pdoc also on a sliding scale. I so far have been able to get medicines at greatly reduced and no cost for many.

I will always have a non-curable disability. Reality tells me that I most likely will never be able to go back to work...but...

I don't look at things as a handout anymore... I look at them as a hand up and I hope to be able to help others as I can once I am back on solid ground.

Well... I just wanted to share a little of my story and how I am managing amidst a life story in a similar book with yours. You are NOT alone.


Abbie

For part of my life I thought it was curable. Not anymore. It's to big,and has happened for so long.

I'm shocked at my dad's hostility today. My sister surprises me. They just cannot get a grip on what I'm saying,and are misunderstanding everything. I can't believe it.

I don't want to loose the things that I have,and have been working on for so long.

Thank you for your input. I can't believe what my sister is saying to me. I can't believe this whole thing.

I was getting stronger,but the world became hostile,and everything has changed. BF

I'm sorry to hear that you continue to have ongoing family pressures BF. I only hope that you can find the strength to overcome the hurt that you probably feel.

I read what you said about the SSDI. Would it help you to know that I too am on a Disability Pension?

I feel no shame at all in accepting what others call a "Hand out". I have worked hard all my life and only gave up work because I had to, not because I wanted to. I would dearly like to continue the career that I loved so much, but alas that is not to be.

My DH is also now on a disability pension due to a spinal injury that happened at work. I assure you that both of us would go back to work in a minute if we only we could.

Neither of us will ever let anyone shame us because we're accepting benefits, and you shouldn't either.

Dear Friend,
Sometimes people have toxic family members.
You can't do anything about them.

I am very sorry that you are going through this.
M.

Thank you all for your input. Right now my heart hurts deep,deep,down in the tender parts due to the cold attitudes of my family members. My sister keeps uttering that "Money" word. I don't know what to say.

I thank you all for your deep heart felt understanding,and words of kindness. I wish you all lived near by. I wish that we could all meet each other. We could have more support groups. Thanks BF