Do any of you ever have irrational fears that you don't associate with the bipolar dx? Example..

You know you are alone in the house, the doors and windows are all locked, and yet every light in the house is on, you can't relax, and you can't stop checking rooms to make sure there is nothing lurking in a corner?

All four kids are spending the night at their Aunt's house because I have a 7:00am meeting tomorrow and need the morning to prepare. Hubby is out of town for 2 weeks for work, and I am home alone nervous as heck. I can't associate it with any dx because if there were anyone here I would be instantly fine.(even if that person is a child that I would be protecting instead of them protecting me if the need ever came about) Ive done this my whole life. I know that I have anxiety issues (general, nothing specific) but those situations will happen regardless...this is just me feeling freaked out for no apparent reason when its dark and I'm alone - but they would stop instantly if someone came over to visit.

I've mentioned this to my doctors a few times over the years, and they always associate it to an active imagination because a true anxiety attack doesn't just stop on a dime......but its total irrational, unprovoked fear.

Anyone else or is it just me and my quirky self? And if so, what do you do about it?

Hi,

Klonopin helps.

Seriously, this is pretty close to my issue.
At some points I would walk around the place and "check" each room and even closets.

I still have an inclination to stay up all night until sunrise . . .

But I think that my anxiety about being a lone in a place at night is coupled with an anxiety having to do with sleep. It has gotten a slight bit better after I got married, but not much -- so mine is not really about being alone. It is knowing that I need to wind down and go to sleep.

I hope that your issue is separate from sleep.


How long have you been doing this?
Ever since you can remember?

Mari

Hi Mari:

Yes, I have done this as far back as I can remember. I've also had insomnia my entire life. But the insomnia is there no matter what. The irriational fear (almost like I'm watching a horror movie just waiting for something to jump out at me) is when its dark, I am tired, and I am alone. It really freaks me out.

I've actually tried the klonopin. (was prescribed to try to eliminate the insomnia - didn't work) and while it did make me feel calmer, the fear didn't stop.

It stinks because I know that i am safe - there is no one else here, and the house is secure, but I still cant stop the nagging panic feeling. It frustrates me as much as it frightens me.

Sleep. *snarl* I wish there was a way to just bypass it completely lol.

In my case it is related to something deep and frightening that came out a year ago after a lot of hypno-therapy (Don't worry. I'm never going to say what it was).

But finding out about it wasn't enough. We tried to make further progress this summer (only see tdoc in summer) and only made marginal progress.


On a completely different track:
This same tdoc also reminds me that the neurons (or what have you) in the brain need new pathways. I need to retrain my brain to go to bed and rest.

When she talks like this she sounds a bit like my first tdoc from many years ago who believed that cognitve behavioral therapy (fancy term for "training" )was the answer for everything. But even he changed his mind /practice after he worked with me for a few years.


I remember a cousin telling me about "checking the rooms at night." A few years later she was locked up in a state hospital for 6 months.

Some times I wonder what the difference is between the sort-of-functional and the not-at all-functional.

Sorry. I think that I got off track.

Mari

Bobi,
You mention fear and frustration and talk about being frightened.

Maybe try to be less frustrated about it and recognize that this is what happens.

I don't know.
I wish I could help.
Mari

I'm sorry you've had something that frightening in your past. I'm glad you have started steps to recover from it. I have always wanted to try hypno-therapy. I don't have anything specific I'd like to revisit, but maybe even confronting irrational fears would help. Why knows.

I remember having a lot ( ALOT) of nightmares as a child, and laying there wide awake and scared to death - and my mind still "daydreaming" and not letting me fall asleep. I recognised this in my son right from the get go. Nothing traumatising happened to me as a child. I often wondered as an adult if I was suppressing a memory - but when I saw the same exact pattern with my son I knew it was genetic on some level. (alot of people in my family have insomnia - not sure about the nightmares though.)

All I do know is that it completely stinks. I am so worn out, and I know I wont sleep tonight. Maybe I should request a higher dose of klonopin and try it again.

and no, you are not off track at all.
I have the same thoughts about the various degrees of "functionality" all the time.
And you are helping!

There are probably meds that practically knock out a person and put them to sleep. I'm not familiar with them and I don't know if they are worth the potential hangover the next morning.

I always thought that if I could go to sleep easily about two or three weeks in a row, that I would get myself on track.

I still have hope for that.

Mari

There are several meds I have tried for the insomnia (going back as far as my teenaged years) but I hate taking them with 4 kids in the house; and especially with my neice because she still wakes up and needs reassurance at least a few times a month. With the heavy narcotics in my system I can't really wake up and talk her through anything.
(not to mention the hangovers are as bad as not sleeping)

I keep hoping that someday someone will figure out what the cause to my insomnia is and FIX it!

just a quick note before I hit the hay....
I have discovered that I am afraid of the dark.
WE have lights on in the house in the kitchen that light up the entire living area/kitchen etc.
when hubby is gone I usually sleep with the lights on....
In the bedroom I have to have the bathroom door shut as it looks dark open and I am afraid of the darkness. I recently baby sat for my girl friends baby and the hall was dark...I was afraid to go down that long hall, it is irrational but still present.
I used to take ambien for sleep but found it was too sedating if that makes sense so now I sleep good days and bad days but at least I feel more like me than I have in a long while.
any way.
I wish sleep were more regular for you two...i really do.
bizi