NeuroTalk Support Groups - saw pdoc -- feel low. Question about benzos.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mymorgy (Post 371392)

Mari
I am so sorry you are not feeling well. Are you going through a cycle? Can you tell? I don't have hangovers from klonopin. I am only supposed to take two m a day but sometimes I take four. Last night I took two extra but still couldn't sleep. My mind just wouldn't shut down.
Do you have dreams? Do you have recurrent dreams? You always seem to be burdened by your family and left in a helpless situation. I remember your writing that you started taking care of them when you were seventeen months old. You also wrote that you got a lot from your students but you are in a way also taking care of them. Your caretaking seems still seems to be an overwhelming part of your life. I wonder if that has anything to do with your sleep "phobia" at night. Is it your private time or do you feel you have to be on alert?
just rambling
Bobby

Bobby,
I'm feeling ok at the moment. But I slept a lot today and then saw a friend this evening.

I remember talking for my brother who is is about 17 month younger than me. So maybe I was counting wrong. It was more like he was walking and I was talking for him. That would mean that I was more likely 2.5+ years old. I used to follow him around the house and make sure he was safe. I also used to let my mother know when he needed something (I don't know how I knew what he needed. ) This is the same brother (I have two) who called me about drinking recently. I guess he and I are used to knowing too much about each other. The call was unusual because most of the time, he does not want to hear what I think about his situation. . . and who can blame him really.

Probably I handled that phone call all wrong and should have just told him to go find a psychiatrist and a mental health-type support group or therapist and to leave me out of it.

I do have dreams but I have learned to forget them by the time I get out of bed. Before I was medicated, the dreams were disturbing.

A big part of my teaching involves caretaking, as you say. But I have learned to set boundaries and to work with the students in ways that are healthy -- more or less.
So this is hard to explain. But I have been thinking about it since you posted it. I think that the teaching is good for me -- it involves other people and I work with them and help them. Most of the time, I keep things businesslike.
This is good for me -- to work with people without becoming involved in their stuff.

RE Sleep:
The current tdoc did help me figure out that at least part of the sleep issue is related to nurturing others more than myself.
Also, she said that I do feel the need to be alert and to protect myself.
She gave me a few little tools to use.
I suppose she and I have a long way to go but I only see her in the summers and twice around Christmas / New Years.
She is expensive at 100.00 a visit out of pocket. And hubby thinks insurance pays.

Mari