[Pamster]

I just curled my hair and it looks great, so I am going to get a body wave perm. A local beauty college does it for $30 I should mention this to save money in bizi's thread, maybe I will post there later. I am just kinda wishing I had the money to get it done now before our trip. But oh well. It's funny having short hair but that's what I think many women do with it, perm it...

My hip and stump are really killing me these days, and I just wish I had the other leg so badly. THere was a German farmer who was just operated on to transplant two arms as he lost his own in a farming accident 6 years ago. I've often asked myself if I would do that or try to hang on until they do it via the new stem cells they keep discovering ways to make...I would only do it, let them work on me if it was regroqwing my own lost leg I think, but not a transplant.

You know they can make stem cells out of fat cells?? I don't know about you but a little liposuction wouldn't kill me. And to think they might be able to regrow this someday, wow, that makes me go hmmmm...LOL!

But seriously, my teeth are falling apart, and I suffer chronic pain, but I am happy. It's just that it's so hard to be Mom from a chair. If you get my drift. I do so much, it's easy to get caught up and forget to think of myself. I used to live in a roach infested sh*thole, two bedroom, and now have a bug free way of life once again-its a long story, not one I want to get into other then to say it was the only place I could find in the area, kid you not in our price range that would pass HUD inspections.

I used to be really depressed, but it's gotten so much better now and I want to wean off the paxil, I am afraid of it what it could be doing to me weight wise. I have gained about thirty pounds since starting it. I want off it. SO I see my Tdoc coming up and will revisit that option as I am doing well, been stable for a long time since weaning off Wellbutrin. That was activating me and the paxil was SSRI without activating me. I think that the trazadone I take with abilify should be enough. Don't you? Just nod and pretend to listen.

I feel really good now, but just afraid of the trip, gas shortages are my big worry now. I was worried about my wheelchair and so I called the company about it and now have a new heavier duty chair. One Jackie most likely won't break on this trip. I was worried about having a cell phone so God helped bring about the miracle of getting that for me. I see a need in my family to get that treadmill, and a bicycle for Jackie, I just had an offer but had to turn it down because the bicycle was broken in the gears and that wouldn't be a good gift for Jackie you know? And we can't afford to get it fixed.

Anyway, we wanted a portable DVD player and again the need was filled. I feel God moves with us, so I am trying to put aside my worries by dealing with them, this gas thing is beyond my control. That's what bothers me. *Sigh* if only things could tell me when we're leaving in two weeks that this shortage is done and over with...That would tackle the last one. We are leaving in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!