How to Find the Answers You Need to
Change Your Life in Mirrors

Ah, the power of mirrors.

In the field of social psychology,
there is a relatively well-known
study that was published in the
Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology in which, on Halloween,
researchers posing as homeowner.s
greeted trick-or-treating children
at one of eighteen different houses.

At one of the houses, when trick
or-treaters rang the doorbell, one
of the researchers pointed to a
large bowl of candy sitting on a
table nearby.

She told the children that it was
self-service, but they could only
take ONE piece of candy. She also
told them she had work to do and
quickly exited the room.

Another researcher was watching
what happened behind a peephole.
A full 33.7% of the children took
more candy than they they should
have.

Then, the researchers set up a
mirror right in front of the bowl
of candy, so the trick-or-treaters
had to see themselves in it as
they approached the bowl.

The rate of those taking more than
one piece of candy when the mirror
was there? Just 8.9%!

Others studies since then have
confirmed that adults, too, have
a much more difficult time being
dishonest when they are confronted
with themselves in a mirror...
even if no one else is around.

(These studies always seem to
confirm ages-old expressions,
in this case, "How can you look
yourself in the mirror?" when
someone has done something
dishonest.)

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH
YOU?

Everything.

You may be the most honest person
in the world with others, but we
all tend to have the hardest time
admitting the most difficult truths
to ourselves.

We're of course not setting out to
sabotage ourselves. Most of the time
we are not even aware that we are
lying to ourselves, or denying the
truth, until things really come to
a head (i.e., until things get messy,
frustrating, really tense, etc.)

And of course we therefore DO
sabotage ourselves by n.ever
admitting – n.ever facing – the
truth.

Think about it: how many times in
your life have you been faced with
"big" questions that, later on, you
realize deep down you already knew
the answer to? But the answer was
difficult, the truth was hard, and
you just could not, or did not want
to, face it?

"Should I leave him?"

"Should I stay in this job?"

"Am I addicted?"

"Am I hurting myself here?"

Think about this, too: what "big"
questions regarding your health,
relationships, finances, career,
or other direction-your-life-takes
areas are you currently faced with?

LITTLE BUT QUITE BIG

So this will be one of the
most revealing and transformative exercises:
Perhaps not right now if you are
not currently faced with some
important question, but certainly
down the line when you are – and
I don't need to tell you that no
matter who you are, you will be
at multiple points in your life.

Quite simply, instead of trying
to ponder the big question while
driving in your car, or sitting at
your desk or table, go somewhere
alone that has a mirror.

Obviously a washroom or a bedroom,
where you can close the door to
ensure your solitude, is a smart
choice.

It is even better if you are so
alone that you can talk to yourself
aloud: hearing your 0wn voice ask
and answer questions prompts even
greater depth and honesty.

And by now you have likely guessed
it: staring at your 0wn eyes in
the mirror, ask your question aloud.
"Should I leave her?"

"Am I really ready to move?"

"Do I have a drinking problem?"

"What am I really so afraid of?"

Ask aloud, answer aloud, and try
not to take your eyes off your 0wn
eyes as you answer and discuss it
with yourself in the mirror. Even
if you have to squint through your
0wn tears.

Discuss the question, the issue,
aloud with yourself in the mirror
in this manner, until you have said
all that can be said. Until all
the insight and truth that was pent
up deep inside you has risen forth
from your lips and into your 0wn
ears and eyes.

AND NOW, THE TRUTH

Emotional as the answer may be, it
is mighty hard not to hear the truth
come forth from where it already
is inside you by addressing yourself
in the mirror in this manner.

It is even more difficult to hide
from or deny it when you hear it pour
forth aloud from your own mouth.

The first and usually most difficult
step when embarking on a new leg of
your journey through life is deciding
which is the right direction to go.

This intense little experience will,
in a powerful way, help guide you in
that right direction.

And though it can be perceived as
"sales-y" if your mind lets it, I
mean it deeply and honestly when I
say that – if you are about to embark
on a potentially difficult new leg
of a journey in life, or if you are
already somewhere on one – nothing
is as powerful as the truth.