Dear Bobby,
Isolation is hard.
I'm sending you good thoughts.

My anxiety about the country went away about three or four days before the election.
I fell asleep sitting at the computer while I was reading about the election. When I woke up I felt different about the election. A wave of energy had come over me and after that I FELT that everything regarding the election and the state of the country would be all right. . . . hard to explain, I know. .. . .
Basically, I felt that I could stop expending energy on this and let Obama and his team and others in power handle this.

I'm reading less news than I was.
And when I read it, it can barely hold my interest and I end up clicking on something else.
It's important to me. But I don't feel like it is about me anymore.


=-=-=
There is a cool picture going around of Obama saying:

EVERYONE CHILL THE F*** OUT.
I GOT THIS.

http://www.gamer20.com/forums/thread/4049/
It's reasuring somehow.

Mari

Hi,
How are you feeling today? Just checking in on you, thinking of you.

Nikko

thank you Nikko
that is great Mari
I wish i could feel that way....I still have been feeling isolated depressed and fearful. I can't seem to handle anything. Today i was able to cry a little over Snowy. I used to tell him I needed him. Now he isn't here anymore. I am still not smoking. I am not eating much. I am hardly reading. It is such a mixed period for me. I wish i weren['t so fearful or at least understood why i was so fearful.
Bobby

I am sorry bobby,
What does your tdoc or pdoc say about this fear?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

i haven't mentioned yet. I will bring it up at the next session.
Bobby

Dear Bobby,
I could be way off but I wonder if part of this is from the withdrawal from cigarettes (both physical and psychological).

I knew someone who stopped smoking cold turkey in her 60s. She had a hellish 30 days when she did this "detox." All she did was sit in her chair and feel miserable for about a month.
She did not even realize why she was so down until she started feeling better.

She was not on any gum or patches or anything like people do now a days, but I imagine that any adjustment to the system- - like stopping smoking -- can temporarily be extremely uncomfortable.. . . just some ideas. Maybe you are experiencing a completely normal but difficult reaction.

Any kind of exercise would help.
Vit C maybe too.

In any case, I hope that you feel better soon.

Mari

I sending (((Hugs))) your way. I had a really bad time getting off a sleeping medication a long time ago. I don't know how I got through it,but I did.

I'm sorry that you are having a bad time. I hope that you feel better soon. BF

thanks BF and Mari
Maybe it is partially to do with the smoking. Even though i wasn't enjoying it that much there was a comfort to it. Now that i lost Snowy and smoking, besides finances on paper my world seems all shook up. Now that the election is over, that is another big emotional void.
Again I am so relieved that Snowy is no longer suffering a poor quality of life. I am relieved that Obama got elected! I am relieved that i have been able to stop smoking so far and have been losing weight.
I just wish i felt better
Bobby

Bobby,
I wish that you felt better today.

Snowy was good for you and you were good for him.

Mari

thank you Bizi and thankyou Mari
Snowy was very good for me. Iused to tell him all the time i needed him and now i tell him why didn['t he take me with him. He was so brave and noble.
It is such relief he doesn['t have to put up with his poor quality of life. It was easy to let him go. It still hurts so much. Physically I feel so much better now that i am not smoking. A big problem has evaporated. The physcological addiction since hasn't left. It was at the stage where it made me feel physiologically so bad but it was still comforting.
Last night kent came over and brought the most beautiful flowers. I told him I missed him and he told me he thinks about me all the time. I couldn't believe it. He said if his mother goes to Hong kong he will see me more often. She is supposed to go on the 16th but still can change her mind. Her health is so poor but she is so stubborn. He and his siblings are hoping she will stay there and accept care there. She will not accept the much needed help she needs here.
He is so kind to me. He is also so much and knows so much. Last night among other things he was telling me about all the achievements of Cuba.
As usual, I could hardly sleep at night. I moved around from the futon to the floor to the couch and spent all day in bed.
Bobby
I am now taking B Right, a b complex and b12