i have been spending most of the time in bed watching msnbc and cnn. even reading the internet is a big effort. Yesterday I tried to stop smoking. I am looking at smoking as a big problem and not worth it. I don't know if i can continue. I still feel snowy is a part of me so although i am depressed over his death i feel he is so close.
my appetite is gone. on friday my housekeeper brought me more soup and i offered to pay three times. she works so hard. I am so blessed. My friend came over that night and we had a lovely time. He is dealing with a lot of family problems but it doesn't show. We talked about them and i tried to be supportive. On Sunday another blessing my dear friend called and invited me out to lunch and we had great conversations. She also has family problems and i tried to be supportive. These days it is easier to listen than to talk.
Bobby

Dear Bobby,
I am glad to hear that you have some wonderful people in your life.
They care about you.
I wish I could tell you to stop watching tv...but I can't do that.
Quiting smoking is a very hard thing to do, maybe you could jsut cut back....
It was cold here this morning 39....burrrr!
I bet it was cold there too.
(((((HUGS)))))
Lets snuggle to keep warm!
bizi

I'm glad you have lots of folks who give you support. That helps soooh much.

I hope you are able to give up your habit. You'll feel so much better! Keep trying!

Dear Bobby,
I wonder if the exhaustion is part of a depression-type thing happening.
Be gentle with yourself. Find more tasks to do that make you feel better (or at least less bad) like connecting with people -- if that seems to be working.
Mari

i am still not smoking. i am still just watching msnbc and cnn. my network of friends is very small so I am basically isolated. Last weekend i was very lucky.
I feel so stressed and I still feel so relieved about snowy but i realize i do feel pain about his loss. right now i have the urge to smoke but it passes. I just have to wait til it passes. I guess it is something else to occupy my mind.
I hope i can read soon. the exhaustion is probably from depression..rats
Bobby

Now if I could just apply your strong willpower every time I had the urge to eat!!!

Dear Bobbi,
Good job on the not smoking.
I hope that you get some relief from the exhaustion.
Mari

I am sorry that you are exhausted....wow, you are trying to quit smoking....this is a huge thing...good for you have you ever quit cold turkey like this before?
bizi

yes i have done it before. a friend just wrote me and said the first two weeks are the hardest. i am chewing a lot of nicorette gum. before i just went cold turkey. the gum is helping. i still have impulses to smoke though. i can't just cut back. that has never worked for me.
I was really upset by your post Bizi. If only you could feel what a special person you are....you have a passion for helping people and being compassionate....what a beautiful trait
Bobby

Great news on the quitting smoking, I am a smoker, wish I had the will right now to quit.


I hope you start to feel a bit less exhausted as the days go by.

You are very lucky to have a good support team of friends with you, that's so important. Hang in there, thinking of you!!!!

Hugs, Nikko