The 7 areas of self-esteem:

physical prowess: Feeling confident in your bodies ability to meet the demands of daily life through physical strength, endurance and flexibility.

Social skills and social comportment: Knowing how to present yourself well and to act appropriately and graciously in a variety of social situations. Becoming someone others want to spend time with.

Self-discipline: Developing the ability to direct your will toward a desired goal in a sustained manner; to stay with a task even when you are tired, distracted, discouraged, or no longer interested; to keep your promise.

Self-trust: Knowing how to tune in to and trust what you knkow and what you feel; to assess safety and danger; to act on your perceptions even when others may not agree with you.

Financial literacy: Developing your ability to spend, save, give, and invest wisely; to value your time and energy fairly; and to understand the laws of prosperity.

A place in the sun: Developing a special skill or innate talent for which you will be recognized and valued.

Positive self-image: Feeling secure and good about yourself, which includes a positive body image, and a positive relationship with self-adornment and personal style.


WE may be high in one area and low in another area...this makes sense to me!
bizi

I think I'll take some physical prowess. (Do you think that anyone is passing it out?
They way they talk it about it here sounds like a big cat -- like a beautiful tiger on the prowl. (Or maybe a jaguar )

I'd like to feel more confident about my physical and mental strength.

Mari

These areas of self esteem can change daily.
I find that they can change with different people and situations....
Lets say I am around an agressive person, this makes me uncomfortable and anxious and want to leave....I feel my safety area is threatened even if this doesn't involve me....perhaps it is negative energy that I try to avoid. But it doesn't make me very tolerant of other people....

I have told you about my narcisitic neighbor who is very controlling, agressive and I am embarressed to be with her in public situations. You never know what she is going to say and I am always on guard with her now...this makes me very unhappy to be around her, there is no joy...I feel an obligation now because I feel sorry for her, and she is alone since her husband passed away, no family, hardly any friends and I had been a close person to her when harry passed away. She has guns at the house and is a suicide risk, it is coming upon a year that he passed away. She said that she was giving it a year.....
Now I am changing my mind and am backing away from her and I feel guilty for this....we are all suppoesd to be " christ like".
At first I felt like I was challenging myself to try to accept a different personality type and try to be around/accepting of her......but this is crazy thinking. Why would I do this to myself.

WE have ajoining symphony seats so may have to sit with her again, she has backed out on a couple of occasions...she has hosted a couple of dinners before hand...now I feel we should offer for the next concert and I am definately not up to that. Perhaps if we did have her over we could not serve any alcohol which is a problem in her case, her behavior gets worse as she drinks....and what if she brought over a bottle of wine ...I just thought of that....

I wish I did not feel guilty over this....and many other emotions as well.

~sigh

bizi

Bizi,
We are not responsible for other people.
As you know, I struggle with this too.
And we do not need to compare ourselves to Christ.

I do struggle with feeling responsible and I need to let that go.
I don't think that is the same thing as quilt.
I also struggle with control -- but less so now that I used to.
I used to feel a need to have some say in other people's lives. Now I am too worn out for that. Let them manage.


First of all, I believe that those of us with BP (and other stuff that comes with it) should be given more of a free ride than normies. And if they don't want to give the free ride, then we should should take it. I help people in ways that I can. Sometimes, that means I pray for them. That's the best I can do most times.

If a job or a task or a person is interfering with my ability to get well, then later for them.

This is one way I look at it: if doing those things you don't like with that person helped send you over the edge, could you call upon that person later for meaningful help?

I go out of my way for hubby sometimes (not always) even if I am not up to. But I know that afterwards, he can help me and he will.

But I try (stilling learning) not to go out of my way for something / someone that can't recipricate. I only have so much of me to go around and I need to spend that focus and that energy on hubby and me.
My world is thus very small.
But my stabilty is fragile.
I want to live.
That is my goal.
When I do something I think about how that particular task will help me stay alive.

I really don't think that most normies live this close to how much work it takes to stay alive.

Ok. This is not making sense.
I'm not ok.
But I did want to post.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I think that guilt is very hard to UN-learn and we are taught it in childhood. I don't have much guilt. I am thankful for that.
So I have no suggestions on how to free oneself of guilt.
Mari

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art28129.asp
How to Stop Feeling Guilty

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Sto...teps&id=411660

This is a detailed page, so I am not quoting the whole thing. You can go to the link if you are interested:
'


Mari

I am sorry you are not OK....
thank you for taking the time to post your replies.
You are a good friend to me.
bizi