I found out she passed last month. It is so hard for me to believe because of this idea that I have that only the good die young. She was 87 but still I expected her to go on to around 100. I feel funny but not all that sad that's she's gone. I feel for the ones she left behind and it has made me think of my late ex only passing a year ago. That family is falling apart. I feel compassion for my ex brother-in-laws. It's not them fighting with me but instead the nieces and nehphew. I don't like all this death around me. My mom passed in 2005 and my family dropped me like a hot potato when my ex passed.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,
I'm sorry about this. ' Sending you hugs.

It's weird to hear of this so long after it happened and it is weird that you are not really part of the family at the moment.

It's also hard to hear of any death. And I think that for many of us, each death reminds us of the others who have died before and also makes us think of our own mortality.

'Not sure if I am making sense.
'Sending you good vibes and good wishes along with the hugs.

Mari

I know how you feel. My mom died two years ago,and my sister didn't care. My dad is 88 years old. Now my dad wants to be left alone,and doesn't want to see me. My sister doesn't want me around. She has MS,and I think that it's called Emotional Liability. I've heard her in absolute Hysteria. My Dad doesn't want to see my late mothers brother who is still alive. So much division. These illnesses have divided the family. They are rejecting me,and I've tried to help. I'll never understand this. I feel like if I suddenly die,they won't care,and they will be relieved that I'm gone. BF

Thank you Mari and BF.

BF, family can really hurt us really bad. I'm okay with my family out of my life. I have a half sister whom I've never met who is my best friend.

Dear Barbara,
That's pretty neat about your sister.
Did you recently find out about her?

Mari

Mari,

She's my half sister that lives 3,000 miles from me. I've known about her since I was old enough to remember. We just started talking in 95 though.

befuddled2

Befuddled,
That's great that you have her to communicate with -- even if she is far away.
Mari

Hi Mari,

Yes, it is neat to have my sister to talk to. Today and yesterday, being Christmas, she is busy with her family so I'll be lucky to talk to her late tonight.

(((((((((((((((((((((BF2)))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))

Sending warm, fuzzy hugs and an angel for your shoulder.

I know life isn't easy, nor is it always fair.

Take care. Nikko

Hi Nikko and thank you for the hugs. I am actually okay with things. I don't need family in my life or people around me all the time to be happy. I was alone most of Christmas today but that is okay for me. When I compare this day to the Christmases of past with all the fighting and hurt feelings I consider myself very blessed to have a peaceful day today. Christmases do not have to be filled with the things most people see them to be. People seem to think you Have to be with family, you have to do this and that when you don't. Today is just like any other day for me and every other day are usually pretty good days. Today was a good day for me.

barbara