[mystified]

I've been going to college for the past 3 1/2 years but I recently had to quit. I was due to graduate in December and had a 3.61 overall GPA and had a 4.0 last semester. But I have a cognitive disorder and had to get up at 4:00 a.m. in order to study so I could get good grades. Then I started having problems with anger and delusional thinking. I've been on anti-psychotics every since I had a psychotic break. My psychosis manifests in several ways. I hear voices and suffer from paranoia and delusional thinking. I was a very active member of this board many years ago but my psychosis kicked in and I started accusing my friends here of talking about me behind my back and conspiring against me. This went on for a while but by the time I got on anti-psychotics no one would talk to me anymore so I left.

I take Geodon but hadn't been taking my daytime dose because it causes drowsiness. But I had to do something so that I could try to stay in school and not continue to deteriorate. So my doctor gave me a bunch of samples and I tried different dosages at different times. I wasn't doing much better when the new semester started. I was now having a really difficult time remembering the material I had to read and I was very stressed. I finally sat down and thought about things for a while. I realized the stress from school was really making me worse. So I wound up dropping out of school. Everything I worked for was for nothing except I got worse. My point is to not underestimate what stress can do to you. I'm now leading a fairly stress free life and I've felt better than I have in years. My other problem was sleep. With all the stress I wasn't getting enough sleep. Be careful and try not to get into stressful situations and if you do find an outlet. I know we all hear our doctors say be sure to get enough sleep and to avoid stress. Please heed those words. I had to find out the hard way. I know it's easier said than done. Just having BP is stressful enough but try and be careful. Take care of yourselves!

[Jaspar]

I see it as a robber of life since it can hypersensitize a person to stress, and, as you said, the bipolar symptoms themselves are stressful enough. Since life is stressful, this robs people of life, severely compromising accomplishing their goals. It can be done, but with going a lot slower so with less stress... which also means the person needs to have money flowing in so that isn't just one more stress. Lucky is the bipolar with that. It is really bad when it strikes before a person is out of college AND they have no money flowing in, like from parents.

The solution would really be adequate treatment of the underlying problems (aka the illness) so the person is symptom free, which includes once again not succumbing to the stresses that accompany a satisfying life.

[Mari]

Dear Mystified,

That's great that you are feeling better.
Sorry that you had to go through all that.
I work hard on staying as stress free as possible, but I am not as good at it as I want to be.

M.

[befuddled2]

Thank you for your post. I have the same trouble with my studies. I'm not in school but at times will take free online courses. Maybe taking a smaller course load and finsishing school would be doable?

barbara

[bizi]

Hi there mystified!
Nice to see you.
I am sorry that you had to go thru all of that stress but am happy that you are in a much better place mentally.
knowing when to stop is hard on us.
(((((HUGS)))))
beth