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Old 11-21-2006, 12:44 PM #1
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Arrow getting rid of negative thoughts.....

Nurturing Yourself
Cognitive Restructuring


Just for a moment, picture yourself as a child clutching a ribbon tied to a beautiful helium-filled balloon. As long as you hold the ribbon, the balloon will do your bidding, following where you lead. But if the ribbon slips out of your hand, the balloon soars upward and you lose control over it. It may go only as far as the ceiling of the room you’re standing in, or it may fly into the sky.

The thoughts that race through your mind sometimes follow suit. You may start with a simple thought, such as "the train is late," only to have it drift out of control. "I’ll be late to work. I won’t make it to my meeting on time. My boss will be angry with me. My job is in jeopardy."

Sometimes even seemingly happy thoughts hurtle down the same track. "Wonderful, the lab report says my biopsy results are negative!" can quickly turn to "I wonder how good that lab is? Maybe the results were positive, and the lab didn’t pick it up. Cancer that’s undetected gets worse. By the time the error is found, it could be too late."

Cognitive distortions
These scenarios are examples of cognitive distortions. They can engage the stress response almost as easily as a growling Doberman bounding in your direction.

So, too, can the barrage of negative thoughts that many people play through their minds on an endless loop, or flip on automatically when faced with certain people or situations. Familiar examples include: "I look awful," "I can’t do this," "I’m stupid," "I’m such a screw-up," and "I’m a loser." The voice may be yours or that of someone else from your life, such as an overly critical parent. Even in the absence of obviously stressful situations, this inner critic can make you miserable and stressed.

Cognitive therapy is built on the premise that thoughts and perceptions shape moods and emotions. A stream of highly negative thoughts may contribute to depression and anxiety. These negative thoughts are often riddled with irrational distortions and exaggerations. They can be examined and deflated, though, once you learn the skills of cognitive restructuring, a cognitive therapy technique that helps people change the way they think.
Nurturing Yourself
Recognizing Your Distortions

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Ten common cognitive distortions appear below. They are based on theories of cognitive therapy expounded by Aaron T. Beck, M.D., which were further refined and brought to popular attention by David D. Burns, M.D. Do any of these distortions resonate with you? Use this list to help make you aware of ingrained negative thought patterns and try to substitute more realistic, positive thoughts.

All or nothing. If you don’t perform flawlessly, you consider yourself a complete failure.

Overgeneralization. One negative event, such as a slight from your spouse or an encounter with a dishonest merchant, fits into an endless pattern of dismaying circumstances and defeat. For example, you might think, "He’s always cold" or "You can’t trust anyone."

Mental filter. One negative episode, such as a rude comment made to you during an otherwise enjoyable evening, shades everything like a drop of food coloring in a glass of water.

Ignoring the positive. Positive input, such as an affectionate gesture or outright praise, just doesn’t count. Self-deprecation deflects all compliments. You might say, "It’s no big deal."

Leaping to conclusions. You draw negative conclusions without checking to see if they have any foundation in fact. You may be mind reading: "My friend seems upset, she must be mad at me." Or you may be fortune telling: "I just know the results of my medical test won’t be good."

Magnification or minimization. You exaggerate potential problems or mistakes until they snowball into a catastrophe (as in the lab results example in Recognizing Your Distortions). Or you minimize anything that might make you feel good, such as appreciation for a kind act you did or the recognition that other people have flaws, too.

Emotional reasoning. You feel sure that your negative, emotional view of a situation reflects hard and fast truth. For example: "My husband drops his socks on the floor just to aggravate me."

"Should" statements. You adhere to a rigid set of beliefs and internal rules about what you "should" be doing and feel guilty when you don’t stay the course.

Labeling. Rather than describe a mistake or challenge in your life, you label yourself negatively: "I’m a screw-up." When another person’s behavior bothers you, you pin a global label on him or her: "She’s so controlling."

Personalization. You blame yourself for triggering a negative event that occurred for complex reasons or for something that was largely out of your control. "If I had taken care of myself properly, I never would have gotten cancer."

Other clues can also help you identify distorted thinking. Sentences that include the words "must," "should," "ought," "always," and "never" are often harsher than necessary and reflect rigid thinking that could stand to be softened.

Nurturing Yourself
Deflating Distortions: Stop, Breathe, Reflect, Choose

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If you’re like most people, some of the distortions listed above are familiar to you. Cognitive restructuring helps you identify and challenge overly simplistic, negative thoughts (see Recognizing Distortions) that can cause unnecessary distress. It’s easiest, of course, when the thoughts are patently untrue: “I never do anything right,” for example. It’s harder when there’s an element of truth mixed in with simplistic falsehoods: “At my age, I know I’ll never reach my goals.” If you always longed to be a famous opera singer but you lacked the time and talent to bring your dream to fruition, that statement may apply. For one goal. Most likely, though, you could list other goals that you did reach. And if you scaled down your dream by realizing that you enjoy singing, whether or not the audience of the Metropolitan Opera pays rapt attention, you could even set course for a new goal and actually meet it.

This four-step process taught at the Mind/Body Medical Institute is one way to help derail stress that stems from distortions and negative thoughts:

Stop. Consciously call a mental time-out.
Breathe. Take a few deep breaths to release burgeoning tension.
Reflect. Ask some hard questions. Is this thought or belief true? Did I jump to a conclusion? What evidence do I actually have? Am I letting negative thoughts balloon? Is there another way to view the situation? What would be the worst that could happen? Does it help me to think this way?
Choose. Decide how to deal with the source of your stress. If distortion is the root of the problem, can you recognize this and let go? Practicing a mini-relaxation may help. If the problem is real, are there practical steps you can take to cope with it?

Restructuring negative thoughts and distortions takes practice. You needn’t ignore reality or put on an artificially happy face. Often it’s possible to shift your focus toward the positive, rather than dwelling on the negative. At other times, you can acknowledge a painful truth without losing sight of the larger, more positive picture.

For example, "I should be practicing relaxation response techniques every day" can be rephrased as "I want to practice relaxation response techniques every day," or "I feel calmer and happier when I practice relaxation response techniques regularly." Rather than berating yourself for falling short, encourage yourself to keep finding time.

When an illness flares up and leaves you feeling hopeless, it may help to acknowledge this without allowing it to engulf you. Change "I’ll never get any better" to "I feel sick and in pain today. I know that I can try a combination of medications and techniques to help relieve my discomfort. Next week, I’ll probably feel better and be able to follow my normal schedule."

Often, you can benefit from a friend’s perspective on a problem or issue that seems insurmountable. He or she may recognize a major flaw in your thinking that has escaped your notice. Or it may help to distract yourself from the problem rather than continuing to worry about it. Try a mini-relaxation or calm yourself through imagery.

If distortions are particularly thorny or deeply ingrained, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who has experience with cognitive restructuring or attend a mind/body program.

Nurturing Yourself
Creativity, Productivity, and Leisure

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The nerve-jangling pressure of lengthy daily "to do" lists can leach away energy. The thought of adding more items to the list may fill you with more dismay than delight, even if the addition is relaxation, creativity, or time with a loved one. Yet when you refresh yourself in ways that are meaningful to you, you add to your stock of energy and joy.

What does "creativity" mean to you? Writing a short story? Sculpting clay? Designing a retreat? Pulling out a paint box? Dancing around the room? Building a deck? Cooking up a feast? Landscaping a garden?

If you have a dream you’ve never explored, find small and big ways to follow through. Sing in the shower, take lessons from a pro, or try out a song in front of friends. If you have no idea where to turn, sign up for a class you think you might enjoy. Give yourself the opportunity to try a variety of options. Don’t give up if the first one fails to captivate you or if the results of your effort don’t meet your expectations. Discover what creative work you love and do it.

Productive work forges links between you and the world and invests life with meaning. It matters little whether these tasks are performed via a paid or volunteer job or while digging in the garden. They offer pleasure and sometimes the chance to be creative.

If you’re retired or find that the work that pays your bills offers few opportunities for satisfaction, indulge your productive side elsewhere. The simplest task, such as slicing vegetables for dinner or scrubbing a floor, may be less tedious and more joyful if you approach it mindfully. Jobs that involve other people can spark connections that nurture you in other ways. Work that benefits others often offers special satisfactions. Such volunteer opportunities abound for people of every age and level of ability. Check with VolunteerMatch or SeniorCorps or call your local chapter of the United Way for tasks that fit your talents and available time.

The job many of us find hardest is setting aside time for pursuits defined as leisure. Reading a novel, playing a game of tennis, soaking in a hot bath, or spending a half-hour meditating may seem like selfish activities. Productive and even creative pursuits are more likely to meet with accepting nods. Yet playfulness invites joy back into your life. And relaxation enhances "flow," a state described by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in which creative juices are freed and their full expression is directed to all pursuits.

So, stretch out on a hammock for a nap. Enjoy a massage. Carve out 20 minutes during your busy day for breath focus or progressive muscle relaxation. Soak in the sounds of music you find calming or invigorating or simply pleasurable. Taking this time for yourself helps ward off exhaustion and burnout, allowing you to focus more attentively and less resentfully on the tasks of your day. Consider it a gift to yourself that also pays dividends to others.

Nurturing Yourself
The Role of Positive Psychology

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Positive psychologyis an emerging field recognized by the American Psychological Association, and many experts who design stress-control programs harness its principles. It focuses on determining and promoting the factors that permit people to thrive. Rather than search for the roots of unhappiness, research coming out of this field investigates the ingredients of a good life and weighs the effects of traits like optimism, humor, and even eccentricity.

Optimists, for example, tend to do better than pessimists when coping with stressful situations. They are more likely to put a positive spin on stressors, look for ways to make the best of a bad situation, and use problem-solving strategies to tackle difficulties. Some studies indicate that optimists often fare better physically, too. A long-term study of more than 830 Mayo Clinic patients published in Mayo Clinic Proceedings in 2000 found that those classified as pessimists had a 19% higher risk of mortality over the course of 30 years than those who were optimists. A 10-year study of 1,300 men based on data drawn from the Veterans Affairs Normative Aging Study was reported in Psychosomatic Medicine in 2001. It suggested that a sense of optimism may protect older men against developing heart disease.

If you’re not a natural optimist, this information could merely fuel your pessimism. Don’t let it. Take a deep breath and relax. Evidence suggests avoiding pessimism is more important than boosting optimism. It’s true that there are people with naturally sunny natures, but it’s equally true that the way you handle yourself emotionally owes a great deal to nurture. With practice, your current outlook and behaviors can change for the better.

You may already have tried some techniques used in positive psychology. They include cognitive restructuring and journal writing, as well as emphasizing the importance of intimate bonds. Other techniques help people tap into a sense of gratitude and thankfulness or simply a sense of humor. All of these therapeutic approaches focus on amplifying the positive.

While research backing some positive psychology approaches is still preliminary, there have been many intriguing studies on humor. Researchers have found laughter boosts immune system activity and lowers the amount of circulating stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. No wonder many mind/body practitioners prescribe laughter. They often urge patients to rent funny movies, spend time at comedy clubs, peruse amusing books, and embrace the absurd in daily life.
__________________

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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 11-21-2006, 09:19 PM #2
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Hi Bizi,

Thank you for this aticle. It is a very helpful read.

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Old 11-24-2006, 08:43 PM #3
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: cajun country, lafayette Louisiana
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bizi bizi is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
bizi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: cajun country, lafayette Louisiana
Posts: 24,238
15 yr Member
Arrow

bump for others
__________________

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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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