[BJ]

I’m not even sure what a trigger is but I feel like someone is pointing one at me right now. I’m just feeling so overwhelmed, hurt, angry, sad I’m not even sure which anymore. I haven’t been out of the house, didn’t go to church, which I always do. Now I have to go to confession which always terrifies me. I haven’t slept or eaten anything and the tears won’t stop. My dad has been on my mind and all these thoughts are going through my head. I guess I’m having a good old fashioned pity party. I hate being like this, I hate this disease and I’m not liking myself real well right now. This depression is robbing me of light and I wish more than anything this is just a bad, bad nightmare and I’ll wake up (if I ever sleep) and everything will be okay.

Oh but I've started back on Effexor today so that's going to make everything fine right? If only it was that easy. I need sleep desperately.