My mom passed 4 years ago today. I am very sad and angry at life at the moment. I don't have any children and my family has deserted me. I only talk with my half sister 3,000 miles away whom I've never met.

It is hard to be all alone at times. I hear people talk about their kids and husbands and it makes me envious. I have no family that comes to see me or call me. My half sister calls but she is so tied up with her family there is even a void there.

The whole society as a whole seems to be of one made up of people only out for themseleves. People seem to always have a hidden agenda. This is why people in love are good for eaqch other. People in love look after the other and nurture them. I haven't had this in my life for several years.

I've had a Mental Health Center turn their backs on me when I needed them the most. I tried my best to get away from the abuse of my ex with the help of the Mental Health Clinic only they would not help me. I got free on my very own and ditched the Mental Health Center. I had the Dept. of Rehab. jerk me around and stand up for Goodwill when Goodwill made my life a living hell. I had Post Trumatic Stress Syndrome from the abuse I suffered which created problems for me in itself. When someone puts themselves out there like I did when I was vulunable people take advantage of that and will walk over that person. It is only human nature as humans to be aggressive with those people who are vulunable. People will take kindness as weakness and pounce. That is it in a nut shell.

Writing this is making me feel better. The pity party is over and I am going to toughen up on society. I will find my way some day. I've still got that hope to cope it seems.

barbara