Well, last night around 7pm my mom had been drinking all afternoon- vodka, and couldn't get to the bathroom, I tried everything, and she kept falling.

Then she wet herself. I had the commode in her room and all. I called 911 they came got her off the floor and into bed. They said it was ok to give her - her night pills, so I did.

Then she called me for her pills, I said I gave them to you, then she wanted my meds, I said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Then around midnight , she yelled she didn't like the TV show and couldn't find the remote, it was on her bedside table, I changed the channel.

Then around 2:30, she yelled she couldn't hear the TV, so I fixed that, again remote on bedside table.

Then around 3am she had to go to the bathroom, so I helped her up, and she said she could make it. Next thing she is calling me, she went in her waste basket and needed a new nighty.

I am tired and upset, I really don't think I will make my DV session today.
Plus I am in pain (back and neck).

She was mad at me, called me everything in the book, because I called 911. But they agreed I could not lift her, she is like dead weight when she is like that and she hit her head on the back of the bed, yet she said she didn't. All her vitals were fine.

I don't know what to do except tell her to call her DR and make arrangements for PT and no more drinking. That ought to go over like a ton of bricks. Everything is I CAN"T with her. She has to start saying I"LL TRY at least.

That was my night. She also said while the rescue crew was here, she wanted to die, they said if you say things like that we have to take you, so she said no I don't want to.

If I don't have alcohol in the house when she wants it, my life will be a living hell. If this is the route she wants to go, well I can't stop it. I have already lost my Dad to drinking at the age of 48. My mom is 73, and my Step-dad at around 60 something.

I cannot deal with this again.

Sorry, had to vent.
Nikko

just making the rounds... but i had to stop here to to post to give you some (((hugs))) and let you know i read you, and i am here, listening.

i hope steadfastly that things will (as the Christine McVie just said in the song i'm just listening to! coinc?) ... turn around for you.

you really have had more than your due. hang in, we are here for you.

(((more hugs)))

~ waves ~

Thanks for stopping by, it just seems, no it has been one thing after another, with my mom in the hospital for almost a year, then her surgery, then my husbands assault, my ordeal with that, now Post Traumatic Stress, my friggin neck and back problems to deal with.

Then to top it all off, my mom drinking. I really can't do this all, I am trying my best. I guess I am just overwhelmed, depressed and in pain. Doesn't make things easier.

OH, great, one of my dogs, just ate one of my shoes. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Have to throw them out now. He is a trip! to say the least. HA

Hugs, Nanc

Dear nikko,
That sounds awful.
and really frustrating.
Is she nice to you when she sobers up?
You have had to put up with so much...
peace be with you my friend.
(((HUGS)))
bizi
It is a blessing that your mother has you to care for her.

((((((Nikko)))))),



It's so cute that your little doggy spirit is trying to make you laugh

*N*, I wish more than anything that you didn't have to go through this.

Maybe it's time to think about the nursing home again

The police and the firemen are wonderful -- aren't they. We had to call the fire department all the time for my husband's uncle -- every time he came for a home visit, he'd say he couldn't breathe -- thinking we wouldn't take him back to the nursing home. Didn't work

I had to call the fire department once for my Mom -- the rented hospital bed that I had collapsed (with her in it) -- had to synchronize getting her off the floor and into a new bed.

I wish your problems were as easy as mine had been.

You're loved (and supported), *N*. You'll be blessed for the good care that you give your Mom and your animals.

I know that doesn't make NOW easier. I wish we all lived next door so we could give you a break

Barb

PS: Isn't there a drug that they give alcoholics that makes alcohol taste horrendous?? -- so that they CAN'T drink??

Nikko,
I can relate with taking care of my Dad, and even the high amount of emotion and need for my daughter, but I am worried about you. Can you call a respit care center so you can take time for yourself. Have you asked your mother what to do if she becomes unable to care for ehrslef?

It would be good for you while she is alwert to have a durable power of attorney. This helps you so much when or if there is a time Mom is unable to make her own dicesions about her care.

Your DV counsilor should have a phone no. or look it for legal aid in your area, or call your attonrey to prepare this document. When Mom is too bad it will be difficult then to meat her needs without it.

Your plate is so full. I know you love Mom, but I also pray that you can get a bit more cooperation from her for yourself, and from outside agency like Burea. on aging etc.
Take any help you can.
Oh, do you have another pair of shoes?
Big hugs to you,
Di

((((((((((Nikko)))))))))))))

I wish there was somethig I could say or do to be able to help ease your pain.

I do remember when my great-grandfather was ill. He went to live with my grandma and grandpa. I was young (8 or 9 years old) but I remember that great-grandpa was a drinker, and I remember watching my grandmother "fix" the vodka bottles so that there was 25% vodka and 75% water in the bottle. Then when great-grandpa would mix it with his tonic, he thought he was getting vodka-tonic, but he was actually gettong tonic and water, with a tiny bit of vodka.

Would your mom notice if you slowly started adding water to the alcohol bottles? Would that help you to be able to give her what she wants, without having to deal with the after-effects of her drinking?

I hope you are taking care of yourself.

((((((((hugs))))))))

Liz

Nikko,

I feel for you. Sometimes when we care for our parents they can be such a pain but at other times such a joy. I could never have my mom living with me as I would have gone insane and probably still be like that. I did have her over for the night sometimes though and sometimes those times were good or bad. My mom had dementia and she would ask the same questions over and over sometimes to give you an example. She also needed help in the bathroom and getting in and out of bed. If I could have her back though I would try to have more patience with her.

befuddled2

I know it sounds very harsh but your mother should be put in a nursing home and you deserve a rest. Only you can put boundaries on the situation. I don't know if you need her income to help live on or not, but it sounds as if she is slowly but surely killing you. You are worth so much even if you don't know it.
How much can you bear?
Bobby
ps your doggy i agree had to been trying to lift your spirits

Hi Nikko,

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. My dad drank way to much but he didn't pull me down with him. don't let that happen to you, either. This is so unfair to you and a horrible thing for you to deal with day after day. I think you did the right thing by calling 911.

I wish I had some advice but all I can do is tell you I care and that I am here to support you and am sending big hugs and positive thoughts your way.

Hugs

Hamster