BJ, I am so happy to read your thread about the improvements you've made. You sound like a Very likeable/loveable person to me.

My tdoc told me to download Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston and listened to it over and over. She kept asking me if I “got it”. This went on for weeks and I wasn’t getting what she wanted me to hear. Finally one day I was sitting at my desk at lunch listening to it on my IPod and the words she wanted me to hear burst out and I got it:

I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I had a session after work that night and she was so proud of me for getting it. Now I have to, like she says, “Fake it till you make it”. She used the analogy of a glass of water. If I keep giving without refilling it will soon run dry. So I need to refill, recharge. And the biggest issue for me was all the self-talk. I’m trying to silence my harsh inner critic. When I make a mistake I’m trying to stop saying things like, "That was so stupid! ... I can't do anything right! ... What a loser!" I’m replacing these negative messages with more positive ones. For example, "I made a mistake. That's okay: I'll know better the next time."

She had me make up some positive affirmations while I was there and she told me to put them on my refrigerator, my nightstand, my computer monitor at work, my bathroom mirror, any place where I will see them every day. It was hard but she helped me write them…..I am loving, caring, and worthy of love" and "I am powerful and self-confident"

BTW, SI is self injure and I’m on day 15, haven’t even had the urge. My tdoc said I should reward myself for working so hard. That’s why I decided to go on the bus trip to NYC and see Jersey Boys.

Enjoy the Jersey Boys BJ.

You definately deserve it.

YOu are awesome, and don't forget it.

Donna

Amen sister!
Learning to love yourself...it's the greatest gift of all!

Negative self talk...no more!

Positive affirmations are here to stay!

All these things lead to great inner strength. When we "refill" our cup continously...our cup can run over.
And when it runs over...we can easily and happily give to others. Life is good.

This is the message I hope to help others with. This is the message you are learning/have learned.
I am smiling from ear to ear!

You totally rock!

Thats good BJ. You are of infinite value,and you have talents that will make the world better. It sometimes takes awhile to know this.

Deep,deep down you will know this,and it will be real. You will be standing up on the inside,and you will get to where your going.

He will perfect the good work that he started in you until the day of Christ Jesus.

We may have slumps where we don't feel like we will make it,but that is just temporary. We may have a few horrible pits that we have to crawl out of,but you will make it. BF

Dear Friend,
I have observed that in many ways people can indeed bring their wishes into their lives.
Keep up good wishes.

M.

Dear BJ,

What a great song.
I just listened to it on youtube!


Here is a glass of water for you.
It helps me to visualize things.
I might have come home after that sessioin and filled up all the glasses in my house with water and set them up around the kitchen or some other safe spot.
It helps me to have concrete things like that in my line of site to remind me what I am working on that week.
Do what works for you. Maybe cut out pictures and put them on a Bulletin board.
Or draw / paint your own.

In the meantime, I like your tdoc's idea about constantly refilling the glass. Water is a good symbol because is so important to us. Our other needs are vital too.
When we are feeling well, we remember those needs and surround ourselves in abundance.
Sometimes when we are out of sorts, we need reminding and assistance with remembering what is vital for living good days. You seem on track for remembering!!!
M.

It's funny Mari because when I did come back from that session I filled glasses of water and put them around the house to remind me that my glass is full and I can't let it get empty again. Just keep refilling it and I'll be okay. It might sound stupid but I have to do what I feel in my heart.

We've been working a lot on my trust issues. I've been hurt too many times by words, thoughts and she said I need to learn how to trust again instead of retreating within myself. I need to let people in my life, even though they will hurt me at times, I need to trust that people make mistakes, people will hurt me but we're all human and it's not good for me to put this wall up around me and not let anyone in. I'm alone and most times I don't mind. But how can you be in a crowded room and feel alone? That's what I need to work on. And it's all a trust issue and I have to work on that.

Another thing I have on my bulletin board that she wants me to remind myself of all the time:

• Trust that its OK to let go
• Trust your intuition more often
• Trust there is something better out there for you
• Trust that when you are stuck in traffic it is for a very good reason
• Trust that you have plenty of time, even if you think you are running out of time
• Trust that illness is simply your bodies ways of getting your attention
• Trust that worrying does not change the situation at all
• Trust that you have the energy and strength to carry on
• Trust that no matter how awful a situation is, there is a hidden blessing
• Trust you have a choice
• Trust the universe is there to support you
• Trust that everything is going to be OK

I've been reading a lot of the works by the Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh:

“When you calm your body & your emotions, you restore yourself, and restore peace to the world around you.”

I'm trying so hard to calm my emotions, calm my fears, calm my worries. Today, I'm forgetting about everything and going to NYC and see the Jersey Boys. A day for not a care in the world. Tax season is over, I made it through, I was commended on my work, how many hours I put in, my efficiency and more importantly to them my profitability.

If that glass starts to seem 1/2 empty....visualize it...then pour it into a smaller glass...right up to the top again.

Green Kool Aid was my fave as a kid. My mental glass is filled with green Kool Aid.

I'm glad you're back BJ.

That was a very sweet letter! I am so happy that you are feeling better! Good for you my friend. Larsy