[samantha25]

Hi, I am new to this board and I have an issue with my bi polar husband who has developed an aversion to our home and insists on selling it. He actually started feeling this way about six months after we bought it. There is no specific reason attached to this feeling - he just does not want it anymore.

For various financial reasons, we cannot sell our home right now. He acknowledges these reasons, but insists "I just want to." He does not care that selling the house right now is irrational and would be financially very unwise. When I try to reason with him about this, he just gets angry and makes a lot of accusations about how ihs life is miserable and it is all my fault.

I am beyond frustrated First, these same kinds of problems have come up so many times before that I am certain that we sell the house to accommodate his feelings, he will just come up with some other drastic thing we need to do to make him happy.

His therapist is trying to work with him on his "rigid" thinking style but I have not seen any positive changes over the last two years they have been seeing each other. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this? I would like to make reasonable joint decisions about our home.

[Mari]

Hi,
The "rigid" thinking is not part of bipolar.

No matter the cause, you need to see a lawyer to find out your options about how to protect yourself financially as much as possible.

Also, a good counselor would be able to help you deal with this.

Depending on where you live, he might not be able to sell the house anyway -- not unless he practically gives it away.
Maybe you can buy his share of the house from him (at a very reduced price) and get to stay in the house yourself after he moves on to whatever he thinks he wants to do next.

M.

[Dmom3005]

I like Mari's idea of buying his share out and him moving on to something
else. But this sounds like something that could easily not be possible too.

But good luck.

donna

[befuddled2]

There may be support groups for the family of bi-polar. For most who are not bi-polar they know very little. I don't have any advice on how to deal with the particular situation your in. Without your signature he should not be able to sell as long as you stay together. Maybe just don't sign.

barbara

[Jomar]

Maybe time to move to another therapist??
if changes aren't happening maybe the style or the connection isn't working?

or possibly go outside the box and try EFT {emotional freedom techniques }or hypnotism?
- something totally different if he is rigid in many things.

[DiMarie]

Originally Posted by samantha25

Hi, I am new to this board and I have an issue with my bi polar husband who has developed an aversion to our home and insists on selling it. He actually started feeling this way about six months after we bought it. There is no specific reason attached to this feeling - he just does not want it anymore.

For various financial reasons, we cannot sell our home right now. He acknowledges these reasons, but insists "I just want to." He does not care that selling the house right now is irrational and would be financially very unwise. When I try to reason with him about this, he just gets angry and makes a lot of accusations about how ihs life is miserable and it is all my fault.

I am beyond frustrated First, these same kinds of problems have come up so many times before that I am certain that we sell the house to accommodate his feelings, he will just come up with some other drastic thing we need to do to make him happy.

His therapist is trying to work with him on his "rigid" thinking style but I have not seen any positive changes over the last two years they have been seeing each other. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this? I would like to make reasonable joint decisions about our home.

It sounds like something more the bi-polar,
But at least he talk all he wants, if your name is on the home he can not sell it. What are the issues of the house.? does it need different color, brightre lights, I use a lamp that immatates sun, move the furniture, change the primary setting of the room. Make it into a study area, work area, play space, buy a used pool table for the downstairs,

Put slip covers on the furniture, change the window treatment,

Ask him what he would use a new home for, what type of style he would want, is it just that it is fresh start and rid of baggage of life?

One thing is to remember to take care of yourself and family someone has to make the proper decisions.
Thoughts are with you,
di

[Mari]

Originally Posted by Jo*mar

Maybe time to move to another therapist??
if changes aren't happening maybe the style or the connection isn't working?

or possibly go outside the box and try EFT {emotional freedom techniques }or hypnotism?
- something totally different if he is rigid in many things.

Jo*mar,
Have you used EFT?
I'm interested in whether you felt that it worked.
I had two accupunturists teach it to me but I don't think I made progress when I did it.
Thanks.


http://www.emofree.com/

M.