Thanks.
I feel horrible.
Perhaps if I were in a stronger place I could handle this better.

But how does one handle death?

Mari

Hi,
Hubby might be called upon do say a Eulogy.

I just helped him do a first draft.
(Sometimes he wakes up and we have our talks in the middle of the night.)

Mari

I would say or do whatever feels right to you, not everyone cries or expresses grief the same, so whatever you're feeling in your heart is the right way to handle your co-worker’s death Mari. Every person handles death differently. Personally, I tend to get in my car where no one can hear me and scream my lungs out. And I still do that a lot when things are boiling inside. It's a great way to get rid of all the emotions that's bundled within you. My pdoc told me to do this and it does work.

I don't think you ever really let go or learn how to let go of someone you loved or cared for, as in forget them. At first, it seems like every little thing reminds you of that person. However, over time that loss and the pain derived from that loss is really going to show you that it has molded you into a more compassionate and loving person if you don't hold onto how life is truly sometimes unfair. I think with any pain, it always okay and good to cry, especially if you feel it building up. We are human, we are meant to feel extreme happiness and pain in our lives and although crying is painful when you’re really down and lost...it helps to let it out. It almost in a way feels like a cleansing of all the emotional burning you have within from the death.

Good luck with everything Mari and I'm really sorry about your co-worker’s passing.

Dear Mari,
I know this is a particularly difficult time for you.
I wish death were an easier thing to deal with.
For some it brings us memories of loved ones lost and for others it is just so sad to watch their pain.
I don't attend funerals any more.
I will go to a viewing of one of my clients if they ask me to go or if I feel that I should go. Then I make a point to go say something to them and then leave. It breaks my heart to see people grieving, it is a stage that they must go thru and there is nothing that I can do to help....
each person grieves as they will, there is no time frame for grieving.
((((HUGS))))
beth

Hi,
I went to the ER for a few hours this morning because I had a 100 F temp and I was throwing up and had a sore throat. My mdoc's office said to go the the ER.
The ER doc took a throat swab, urine, blood, and a chest xray and then said I had a virus and to stay home from work for two days and get strong. -- He even wrote me a note! He also gave me some scripts for the symptoms but I did not pick them up.

I was 90% better by the time I got home.

I still have not slept in days but I feel like the fever and the purging helped clear my head and move me into another /better mood.


=-=-=-=-

I went to the funeral and sat with some colleagues in the back.
I left before they got to the end.
They were going to have a big dinner in the back.
I missed the food!

But the doc had said to eat stuff that would be easy on the stomach anyway.

It felt right being there for her and the people I work with AND
it felt right leaving when I did.


Thanks for being my friends.

M.

Mari,
I am so glad that you are feeling better.
You sound good.
I hope you are able to rest now with doctors orders...to take care of yourself....
beth