[Mari]

Hi,

I am pretty good at helping others.
But I have lots to learn about helping myself.
I thought maybe people might want to share ideas about how they nurture themselves.

Here are some things that I do.


I try to treat myself the way I would treat another person -- cut them lots of slack, give them the benefit of the doubt, forgive them, have realistic expectations for them, tell them when they are doing a good job, tell them they look good, . . .



I try to limit self-criticizing and congratulate myself every time I do something -- or even just manage to get through the day.

I push myself much less than I used to and remember to tell myself I am doing fine.

I also thank my body and my mind for helping me.

M.

[mymorgy]

I smoked cigarettes. I had cruel parents and incorporated them into myself. Now that the external environment ie bosses etc are no longer present, I seem to be crueler to myself. I think I nurture myself by being oppositional to myself if that makes sense. Things that I know will be good for me I won't push myself to do.
Bobby

[bizi]

Nurturing means taking care of yourself right?
I don't pressure myself, I sleep as late as I need to.
try to eat healthy meals,
go to cooking demonstartions, they feed us too!
taking a drawing class just for fun, no pressure to just enjoy the time and work on right brain stuff. I am going to take it again...i will probably take it several times.
I need to start a diet for my health, have about 15 pounds that weigh me down and I am tired just climbing stairs.
I am looking into a weight loss program called
Inches a weigh
This would help me feel better about myself.
and it would be good for my body.
I have been eating too many klondike bars lately......
too many blueberry beers
beth
I also take my vitamins and color my hair....
we are going to lake martin to go birding, the egrets and spoonbills should be raising there off spring and that will be fun to watch.

[Mari]

Dear Bobby,
I think that we do not have to push ourselves.
We can do whatever we want and then tell ourselves that that way is the best.
I was pushed by my parents.

So not pushing and allowing myself to go by how I feel makes me feel like I am pampering myself. For a long time I felt guilty. Now it feels right -- to go with my feelings.
I take a certain pride in it (sounds weird -- maybe kind of rebelling).
And bipolar kind of forces us to go with our feelings.
My tdoc is great about this. She encourages me to do what I can when I want and to be realistic about expectations.
Then I am supposed to feel good that I did a good job -- a good job of following my feelings.

I've never raised children. But in my mind a happy child has her feelings and needs met. That's what my tdoc encourages me to do
(tdoc does not use the child word when she says this).

M.

[Mari]

Hi, Bizi,
So would you say that you like to make plans?
You like to do things that will improve your situation?

I think cooking demonstrations and classes are a great way to fully experience food without having to eat it. Great idea.

M.

[waves]

i removed my earlier post because i felt horrible about it even though it was sadly accurate. and right now everything i can think of to say just sounds stupid.

maybe because in the present tense i don't do a whole lot of self-nurturing. things i think of to do i either don't or can't. and it isn't always up to me.

a klondike bar sounds good about now. haven't had one in over a decade.

i cleaned part of my plant which is dying. that is i dusted some of its leaves. yeah, i know, that's nurturing the plant, not me, huh? well that's as good as it gets. and it likely won't help it not die. there's a lighting/positioning issue which i have no control over.

waves

[Mari]

Dear Waves,
Sorry that you are so sad right now.

M.

[BJ]

Nothing you say sounds stupid Waves, it's from your heart, your heart that is hurting

To nurture myself I seek stillness and silence. The location depends on time of year. If it’s warm enough, I’ll sit in my yard and watch whatever is happening, birds, butterflies, bees, squirrels, or the neighbors if they’re not being too noisy. Sometimes I’ll wander through my garden to see what grew lately. Pulling weeds is therapeutic for me.

If it’s too cold to be out, I’ll sit in my family room where it’s nice and sunny. If there’s no sun, I wrap up in a fleece blanket and invite Hooper to sit with me.

I don’t try to direct my thoughts or breathe in any particular way. I let my mind wander. Anyone seeing me would probably think I was catatonic. But I’m actually quite busy, listening to silence and watching air.

[waves]

Thanks BJ.

What you wrote is so beautiful:

Originally Posted by BJ

To nurture myself I seek stillness and silence. The location depends on time of year. If it’s warm enough, I’ll sit in my yard and watch whatever is happening, birds, butterflies, bees, squirrels, or the neighbors if they’re not being too noisy. Sometimes I’ll wander through my garden to see what grew lately. Pulling weeds is therapeutic for me.

If it’s too cold to be out, I’ll sit in my family room where it’s nice and sunny. If there’s no sun, I wrap up in a fleece blanket and invite Hooper to sit with me.

I don’t try to direct my thoughts or breathe in any particular way. I let my mind wander. Anyone seeing me would probably think I was catatonic. But I’m actually quite busy, listening to silence and watching air.

I especially like the ending... i don't know why. You could write wonderful books if you ever felt inclined.

~ waves ~

[Vowel Lady]

My favorite thing in the world to do is read, so I always make sure I have plenty of books around to chose from. I also often have flowers in my home...they bring me and many others much joy.

Similar to what has been said before, I watch my self talk...monitoring it for negativity. Additionally, I respect my need for rest when it is appropriate.

I eat right (usually) and keep my appearance top notch (usually). I take vitamins and exercise...generally speaking...I stay on top of my health needs. When I have pain, I am not ashamed to speak up, and will take steps to help myself...such as taking medication or physical therapy, etc.

I help others around me, paying particular attention to loved ones and close friends.

Additionally, I take time to grow spiritually.

For me...all of these things have been nurturing.