I saw Bobby today in the hangout where we met. He gave me the cold shoulder. Yea, he talked to me but he didn't return my hugs. The friend of mine who is after him was next door at the tire place and when somone mentioned her being there Bobby got on his phone and called someone. I assume it was her. I later went to the local bar where I saw a mutual freind of all the others from the hangout I met Bobby in and told him I was hurt. I told him a friend of mine had stabbed me in the back and that he knew her but I wouldn't call out her name. The guy named her name though and I aske him how he knew and he said he put two and two together.

I cry my eyeballs out. I will not go into the hangout anymore while Bobby is in there and don't plan on talking to any of them.

I am also drinking since I was accused of being a drunked alcoholic by my next door neighbor I might as well live up to it.

I hurt bad tonight.

Can I be dumb and ask a question about modern dating?

In the old days the gals mostly waited until the guy asked for a date or at least talked about doing something together , as in one on one..
Girls would act interested but still rarely made any first moves...

Is that not how it happens anymore?

does anyone do those kind of dates anymore?
- like go out to a movie, dinner, stuff like that?


I'm sorry it didn't work out with him, but better to find out early on before getting too involved.

Dear Barbara,
I don't understand this either.
I am sorry that you are hurt.
please be careful and don't hurt yourself.
((((HUGS)))))
beth

I haven't been on a date in over 15 years so please forgive me if this comes across as harsh... for that is not my intention.

I have read all of the post's regarding Bobby.... I was wondering if maybe you were possibly coming on a bit strong and maybe that freaked Bobby out a bit.... Maybe he likes you as a friend and nothing more....

Also... Maybe you were seeing or hoping to see things that really weren't there...

Please don't give up on going to the locations you like to go... whether Bobby is there or not... don't give him or this other person the satisfaction of seeing you upset... or the satisfaction of running you off.

I am sorry you are hurting...

Abbie

Barbara,
You only have broken dreams as you did not give Bobby your heart to break it. You were a good friend to him, dearer then others as he shared a lot with you. But you never fellin love with each other for him to break it, only the dreams and hopes were shattered.
Your heart is really intact......He knew you liked him, but chose to be distanced this weekend.

Misreading signals, or feeling upset that you did not get back what your gave as a friend hurts. Like one of your friends said, is it worth losing a girlfriend, or other friends over a guy that you hardly know.

He was letting you know he felt very comfortable with you, but he is very, very ill, has a complicated life and HECK he was not all that good looking or the age you really wanted in a potential mate the first time you met him.

THey more you saw him, the more he flirted and you enjoyed that, but he knew that is what women like. The better looking and diserable he became.
He liked you, but he is living a life that actually you are too good to fit into. Even if he is ill, he makes poor choices.

The more you see of his personality, the things you liked are the very things that he plays on. You have not dated in years, I have not dated in years, but we look for companionship whether from a spouse or a new man. There is a better way to meet the dream man.

Give yourself credit that you are in morning for a potential relationship that there were high hopes in, with a virtual stranger. He is not trying to hurt you, but he is lacking in the very personality and moral ethics you truely value and the broken heart is learning his flaws.

Give it time and space....things will work out. But I think your hurt is really this is not that man you thought he was.
Di

THis is so sweet what you wrote di, thank you
You are very kind and wise
beth

I feel like such a fool.


Barbara

Dear Barbara,
Be gentle with yourself.
Treat yourself right.

This happened. You can put it behind you eventually.
For right now, focus on loving yourself and on the good in you.

M.

You're not a fool, it's how we all learn about life & love.
It's finding the middle ground that is the tricky part - somewhere between putting yourself out there too soon and being afraid to try.

I'm so drunk I can't see straight. I wll be better when I get some sleep and sober up.

barbara