Talk about female reproductive problems.











Well if you didn't know already, I have an ovarian mass, I forsee them removing the ovary since the health dept nurse seemed to think that was the way the dr would lean, and she mentioned uterine lining ablation, which is where they essentially burn off the uterine lining because of uncontrolled bleeding which I thought was preimenapause but it might not be. They are set to biopsy it the 6th and I was really freaking out about this last week.

I decided to start the buspar and risk it. OMG it is really amazing stuff! I like how it's keeping me calm, I am up to 20 mgs a day now, taking 12.5 mg in the AM and 7.5 mg in the afternoon. I am slpwly weaning down off the lorazepam and the biggest thing I needed that drug for was to combat the physical symptoms of anxiety, which the buspar is preventing from happening. I am still getting anxious, like yesterday I kinda had a PSTD attack that tried to happen when I saw two motorcycles riding side by side which is what Jack and I did that fateful day, and normally that sets me off shaking and my stomach drops and I feel like curling up into a ball.

Well yesterday I was able to just go, "No, no, no, go away" and it did! Deep breathing the whole time of course, but not hyperventilating. I am very pleased with the Buspar so far, it's really working wonders for me for both PSTD (which is is used to treat in addition to the anti-anxiety effects) and my out of control anxiety. I still feel anxious but not having the physical symptoms which is GREAT! I can will the anxiety away so much better now. I went three days with no lorazepam and had to take 1/2 of one Sunday to help with stomach twitchieness I attribute to withdrawal. So I will keep working the lorazepam that way for awhile then go down to 1/4 tablet (of a 1 mg tablet) and see how it goes.

I am feeling a lot better and just had to post to let you all know since I was freaking out the last post I made. Doing a LOT better now, if only I can get through the next phases of my 'treatment' for this ovarian mass okay I'll be fine. I am gonna be getting a depopravara (however you spell it) shot when I go in the 6th for the biopsy to make sure I don't end up pregnant and hopefully it will help with the bleeding problems. I am having pain in my sides and not sure if it's because I know now that something is up on that right side and the left is ovulating or what, but it's real pain, sharp twinges...usually when I bend over so I am trying to take it easy. The 6th can't be done and over with soon enough for me...