Well having seen the dermatologist
All looks good
This was great with all that going on
Me

Begun to deflate
It be the last thing I deal with
Just so much going on with this body
My days feel outnumbered
Where has all the time gone
Just let it go
I keep telling myself

Make the appointment with the plastic surgeon
It’s the last of things to do for this body
On the 11th with the cardiologist
Oh how exhausting it is for us who have so much going on with ones body
Don’t know if I’m coming or going
Just had MRI of right shoulder and my bloodwork for my cancer
This still has a hold on me
So many doctors so many bills
On a much better note
My son has gone into a long term facility six months to a year for his recovery
Hope
Still something I hold on to
Keep putting one foot in front of the other
My granddaughter needs her Mimma
Heavenly Father did not bring me this far to throw it away
I will continue to do his work
Amen

Eva,
Your son going in to long term recovery is very encouraging and something to give you hope.

God knows your granddaughter needs her Mimma.
Hold on dear lady.

Gerry

You sending me strength through your well wishes never to be forgotten
Thank you for the love
She hold on to me for dear life
Doing so well in school
Yesterday to hear from Corissa was heaven
She misses us terribly
May she find her way back
Prayers I ask
That she find her way
Take care of yourself dear lady
This is the month I found my lump
It was in cancer month 2011 and my anniversary date of removal of both breasts January 9 2012
Now to return to the doctors who did the botched job will be interesting
My oncologist and pulmonologist both recommendation to return
I check with the insurance company if he is in my plan
Luckily he is
So like I said I be the last on the list of things to do for this body

Ran into my gynecologist when getting the mri
Of shoulder says Eva you look so good
I respond why thank you doc
Shan’t to know what my secret is
I’m rotting inside
He says stop saying that
However the fact is that is what is really happening
Why can’t they just admit to the brutal honesty
The European genes does not do to this body any justice
Not an an easy thing to say but the truth
I come to find out Raynaud is hereditary I wonder on which side
My father didn’t hang around long enough it will be 38 years
Where did the time go
Be well
I’ll keep posting

Eva,
I'm glad you heard from Corissa. I pray for you, little Eva and your children; but when I first spoke with Corissa; as I have mentioned before, I felt something special about her . Please let her I care about her and if she would like to send an email; I would be happy to hear from her. You have my email address; she may as well.

Both of us lost something to cancer in 2012; you breast cancer; me the rectal cancer/removal. I also had Invasive ductal breast cancer operated 4/11/2018. It was invasive. The surgeon from Northwestern Hospital in Chicago did a lumpectomy to remove the mass as well as an area around the mass was also removed.That area test came back clear. For five years, I'm suppose to be on a breast cancer daily med to hopefully prevent it from returning. I am not tolerating it very well and dealing with side effects.

If I understand correctly it appears you might be having additional surgery done on the breast? Is that correct?:

Gerry

Well dear lady lost much writing responding
So to keep it short
I will let Corissa know

I had a double mastectomy

Taken off of tamoxifen by oncologist
Because of the Raynaud finding
Now my implants are failing
The left has what is called a double bubble
Immediately after they were put that six years but now the right one is deflating
Both the oncologist and pulmonologist agree it’s time to see the plastic surgeon as it’s become painful

The tamoxifen did do many things like thicken my facial hair nausea and lots of other things

But my question to you is
Does the doctor know you don’t take your medicine

Send gentle hugs dear sweet lady

Eva,
It appears the Tamoxifen and Arimidex has very similar effects. The Tamoxifen is usually given to those who had/have breast cancer and were premenopausal. The Arimidex is given to those who are postmenopausal.

The side effects of the Arimidex are awful. I had to give at least a week or so without the medication. The sour/acid stomach,(since the rectal cancer; I am dealing with abdominal pain and "potty issues" & hernias and this just adds to the pain) along with heart attack like chest pain, burping and upchucking some bile. The wrist, fingers are so painful because of joint and bone are affected. I am all ready dealing with PN and edema which legs and feet are painful; this stuff causes ankle/feet swelling. Rather than hair growth, I am loosing hair; even on my legs which I don't mind; but the the loss of hair on my head is a problem.The loss of strength and fatigue is awful. I will probably go back to the meds during this week. My cancer cells were estrogen positive positive. There are anogens in our bodies that turn in some form of estrogen even after menopause. These meds are to try to completely stop this from happening.

I see the surgeon's assistant for 6 month checkup in two weeks. I will let them know what issues I am having with the Arimidex breast cancer meds; but not sure whether I will mention having been off for almost 2 weeks. Not sure which is worst, worrying about cancer returning or feeling so sick adding to my already over and above the usual pain issues.

Eva, I think you may have had a lot of these side effects when you were taking the Tamoxifen.

Your breast deflating and double bubble has got to be very uncomfortable. You have been through so much.

Thanks for letting Corissa know. I just think about her and all she can be. Hope she is able to turn things around. I'll never forget when over the phone she thanked me for being friends with her mother. It was so touching the way she cared about you.

Love & Prayers,


Gerry

Thank you dear lady

And I so understand weighing the so I or shouldn’t I concept
There are many time I wonder what if I just stopped take all the meds I’m on

And I know her heart is with us
As I tried to get out yesterday
If I had to do it all over I wouldn’t have introduced her to her dad so young
As like my ex husband had visitation rights and chose not to excersize them as I was his main concern
The same was with Corissa father
And because I wouldn’t have anything to do with him like that anymore I feel he used her to hurt me
To this day she has body issues
As he called her fat and held meals from her
The body shaming did much damage and I blame myself
I wanted her to have the opportunity unlike my other children to have a relationship with their dad
But I wish I held off
As my other children at an older age began to seek out their father and found what was true all along
I hurts to see your child go through unnecessary pain as I know it to well and what it does to ones spirit
Especially when I have memory from the age of two
He would feed her money
Root of all evil if not treated with respect
And couldn’t do anything but watch him destroy her

She knows the love mommy has for her is real and undying
Eva is in love with her BFF best friend forever

She is now looking for love in all the wrong places
And all I can do is pray all the talks we have had over the years are recalled at the right moment
I hoped to hear from her yesterday that did not happen
And as much as I want to reach out I refrain from doing so

I so understand the pain you speak of and yes your understanding of tamoxifen is on point
I was given progesterone twice while on the tamoxifen levels off
Oh what we women go through
Not to say men don’t
But nothing like our breed

I’m at the pout of understanding how with everything I have been through I’m my life I can help others when they ask
And I give it away
I have but the work Heavenly Father has me do
I cannot lie and say that I still wonder if that chance to live and loved in return as I still haven’t truly had that special relationship with another
And I don’t mean the love I have for my children or grandchild or sisters
I think you understand

So dear lady
My wish for easier times
Thank you for you love and concern
Be well in arms of an angel
Me

October 31 with the surgeon
This will be interesting
Very interesting
Me