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Old 02-10-2012, 08:50 AM   #1
Paulb_47
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Default What to do to support wife?

I can't find a thread like this anywhere. Maybe a moderator can help.

My wife will have a double mastectomy in three or four weeks. We've had the options explained to us and she has made her treatment choices. I told her I could make suggestions but would accept any choices she made. The confusion had to be worked through and we found several women she could talk with. Friends or friends of friends have been helpful but they did add to the confusion. I'm trying to get her to go to a support group. The American Cancer Society has been in touch with several suggestions.

It's her body and from reading I understand this can be as much or more an emotional problem than a physical problem.

I need suggestions in giving support. Getting ready for recovery, what to say and what not to say, and anything else you may wish to tell me. Is there a site that may help me? My hope is those of you who have been through this sill know how to help me more than anyone else.

I have my own problems which may limit me physically for a short while but they should not be much of a limitation shortly. We do have family and friends that will be able to help.
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:42 AM   #2
ginnie
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Default Dear Paul

I sure have been reading your posts. I am sorry the both of you have to go through this ordeal with different medical issues. Eva has had the surgery that your wife is going to have. She is recoving now, and is posting failry often. I know she can offer words of compassion to your wife. Please know that there are people praying for you both. ginnie
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Old 02-15-2012, 06:30 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulb_47 View Post
I can't find a thread like this anywhere. Maybe a moderator can help.
Hi Paul,

I think here and/or Caregiver Support are just fine.

Quote:
I need suggestions in giving support. Getting ready for recovery, what to say and what not to say, and anything else you may wish to tell me. Is there a site that may help me?
Support is exactly right. Some possible starting points might be to
Google: breast cancer support
Google: ready for breast cancer recovery
Google: what to say breast cancer
Google: what not to say breast cancer

In most matters, I've found Google and WIKIPEDIA can be our FRIENDS!

That you know & care enough to post what you have is profound, so I probably don't even have to mention...
Look at her with the same eyes you always have.

Doc
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All opinions expressed are my own. For medical advice/opinion, consult your doctor.
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Old 02-15-2012, 06:46 PM   #4
ginnie
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Default Hello paul

In the spiritual support forum, Eva responds there fairly often. She has had the surgery your wife faces and is home recovering. I wish I knew the skill on this site to get your post to her. I still have alot to learn here, and I have never been that good on the PC. If you can't find the thread, ask MrsD She is a moderator, or Kitty, or even private message to Eva. Eva is a blessing to this forum and is one strong lady. Sorry I could not get you there myself. I never learned yet to transfer these posts. I don't think Eva would mind you posting to her on PM. Let me know if you have gotten in touch with this good woman. She has offered alot of us emotional support. I am also here just as another member to try and help. ginnie

Last edited by ginnie; 02-15-2012 at 07:03 PM.
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Old 02-15-2012, 06:50 PM   #5
ginnie
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Default need you Dr.Smith

My lack of PC skills is interfering with what I should do. How can Paul get in touch with Eva besides on PM. Can he just type into the members list for information? His wife is having the same surgery Eva just had. I am trying to get Paul connected to Eva to help. Paul needs some support on his wifes up coming surgery. I can't transfer a post yet, and feel bad about it. Let me know if you can help. ginnie
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Old 02-16-2012, 06:55 AM   #6
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Hi Ginnie...

1) All Paul has to do is click on a thread of Eva's and make a reply. I looked at her profile and she is logging on and reading here. Shows she was here yesterday in fact.

This is her profile:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/member.php?u=37210

This is a recent thread on this forum, right below this one:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread162718.html

2) Paul can also click on her name as it appears on the forums anywhere, and go to her profile that way.
On the profile are choices, "visitor messages", "statistics", etc.
at the far right is a box "contact info" . He can click on that
and the choices come up...she has enabled "send an email to"
and he can click that and a box will come up where he can send to her private home email. This box does not GIVE the email but will send it.

3) He can click on her name as it appears on any post, and a box will come up and show--- 1) profile, 2) send a private message, 3) send an email etc.
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Old 02-18-2012, 03:00 AM   #7
eva5667faliure
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hello paul

i would be happy to answer any questions you may have
i wrote you back under title "took pictures"
feel free and contact me

may you both be blessed with love
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Old 02-20-2012, 11:05 PM   #8
Mark56
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Heart Three Blessed Dear Ladies

Ginnie, MrsD, and Eva- teaming up to be in touch with Paul, helping Eva to make the connection. I came here this evening, having just learned our 41 yr old niece has been DXed with cancer. Different from Paul's wife or Eva, but invasive and frightening nevertheless. So what I bring this evening is the one thing I can do for any of you, Paul included, PRAY, as I am for our niece.

Paul, dealing as you are with chronic pain and a recent surgery, times are surely to be hard, and if there is one thing I learned the best as between my wife and me these past seven years since the wreck, it is the simple act of reacching out to hold hands, to speak of love, to pray together which bound us ever more tightly together. God, being love, has strengthened our own.

May His love pour upon you both as a welcome shower,
Grace and Blessings,
Mark56
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Old 02-21-2012, 09:36 AM   #9
ginnie
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Default Hi Mark

I have learned something very valueable on this site. People do care, and we join forces and prayers to help those who are scared and in trouble with their health. I have never found this kind of compassion before anywhere in my life, especially on a public forum. This site must be God inspired. This ministry goes beyond our physical problems and goes right to a person soul. I pray for all of us many times during the day. Just a quick prayer sometimes when I have to do errands. I am so glad that even with my lack of PC skills, that MrsD and you came to my rescue and got these people connected for help. People need each other. This is exactly how the world should live. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. This is how I perceive this site. Have a good day, all of you. I am blessed to have found all of you. ginnie
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Old 02-21-2012, 09:39 AM   #10
ginnie
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Default Hi Paulb_47

Sorry it took so long to get you to the right place. I know you are in contact with others now. I wish you and your wife all the best. I am praying for you both. I knew the moderator, and others would help me to help you. I have alot to learn Paul about how to navagative this site effectively, so I am sorry for the delay. Take care of each other. ginnie
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