My Dad is almost 87 yrs old . Friday I went to his house to give him his new glasses that I had picked up for him . He just went thru 2 cataract surgeries. I was there just Wednesday to put his last antibiotic eyedrop in his eye. He was ok then. But Friday I couldnt find him anywhere iin the main part of the house. So I knocked on his bedroom door. He was in there. But he couldnt get to the door. The unknown scared me to death. I tried picking the lock( I dont think I'd be a good robber) I also tried taking the pins out of the door. I got 2 out just fine . The bottom one though.. was jammed shut. I tried for about a half hour. Finally I called my brother( the one that abused me) I hate being there with him. But I had to do it for Dad. He needed help. Now before you say I should have called the EMS. I thought yes I should. But some of you know the turmoil I've gone thru him with doing things like that. And I thought as long as he is still talking to me.. I would try it this way. My brother who has terrible back problems himself. Got down on one knee and took the pliars, and a hammer and got it out of the jam. We got the door off and we found him laying on his bed, half on it ( head to his but ) and his legs hanging down. For his sake I am going to spare some details here.

I tried to bath him but everytime we made any kind of motion he had to throw up. I called he EMS. I had asked them a few times before to come check on dad. And they always obliged. This time they couldnt. Because of liability. So the EMT suggested I call the visiting nurses who were just a block away. Dad has been a patient of theirs before. One of the girls were happy to come down and check him out . Just to see if we needed to get him over there or not. We tried to stand him up and it was too much pain. So I knew I had to call the EMS back and say come get him. This all started around 3:15 pm yesterday. They took tests, xrays CT all that. Determined that he might have had a mild stroke. So they admitted him. WE finally got him to his room around midnight last night. Got him tucked in and the girls were wooing over him that quick lol. He is a charmer when he wants to be lol.

Today I got up there along with my sister and two nieces around noon. He was awake and moderately coherant. Last night he was confused and combative. And his left eye was droopyand didnt want to open. They took him for an MRI of his head , Ultrasound of his coraotid arteries, xray of his rt hip and leg. He is having bad pelvic pain especially with movement and coughing. I got a call a bit ago and they asked for consent to do an MRA. Its like an MRI only using contrast fluid to see the carotids better. We dont have results back of any of these tests yet. Hopefuly tomorrow.

I feel badly because I wasnt there sooner. I feel I let him down. I hope he knows that I do my best for him. I love my dad.

(((Bethy)))

I am so glad you were able to get him help, even though it cost you emotionally.

I pray that the tests show clearly what is wrong and that the treatment they give him will be effective with minimal side effects.

Bethy, I hope this all turns out all right. But for you to blame yourself would be unfair to you. It sounds to me like you did everything in your power to help your dad. It's very apparent that you love him.

BTW - it's kinda nice to hear that you wouldn't make a good robber.

Idealist

For your dad to be the age he is and still be on his own is a tribute to the care you've given him. What happened to him would have happened no matter where he was. Please don't feel guilty. It sounds like you've done an excelent job keeping him going thus far.

((((((Bethy)))))),

Don't be so hard on yourself

My Mom used to live in another state. I tried and tried to get her to move closer to me. She refused -- absolutely.

I couldn't reach her by phone for a few days so I got the neighbors to let the police in. They called me at home and told me to get there immediately. BIG mess. I, too, had to put her in the hospital.

My Mom was strong and opinionated -- a lot like your Dad, I'll bet. They lived the life they wanted to live -- unless we wanted to get out the old baseball bat

To live to be 87 -- and older -- in his own home. Sounds like he's had a nice life.

You'll do what you need to do because you have to. You'll put up with his 'cantankerous-ness' because you have to and because you love him. Don't fault yourself because he's living the life he wants to live.

I'll say a quiet prayer for him tonight that he comes back from this 'setback' with no ill effects.

BIG HUGS. Take care of yourself, too, Bethy.

Barb