Just over a year and a half ago I had my most recent head injury. As a result, I was off work for about a year, and have had to make some life changes to adapt to Post Concussive symptoms.

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years has sunk into a depression, largely due to this situation.

Problem is, that we had talked about starting a family prior to this accident. I am now nearing my forties and with his depression we seem to be further from this than ever.

I am now in the position of caregiver (which is difficult when I have limited energy) and am hoping that with anti depressants and counselling he will start to feel better. I just want to see him happy and feel well.

My chances of having a child are dwindling, and I am not sure how to support him while still wanting to explore having a child. I don't know that I would have the energy to even raise a child but I want the option to be there.

Looks like I am a caregiver who needs a caregiver! I really love my boyfriend, and I want to help him. I'm just feeling confused.

Advice?

my advice is to wonder how the child would feel if he were born to you 2. would she feel welcomed, happy, and cared for?

this is not a choice to rush but you may have oother choices such as adoption or a dog.

hope your head feels better. have you tried chiropractic? the bones in the head get stuck in an injury and they can be unstuck.

in our world there are too many people and the resources for them to survive are dwindling. if you do have a kid consider teaching her lots of survival skills.

It does take two to raise a child, and then the whole community. I have one child who chose not to have children because of the way the world is, and then another child who is blissfully happy with her first son. She is in her late thirties and waited in life to have child.
If you are already caretaking, I wonder if your ability is there. Your desire for a child may be, but can you do a full time care for a child in the circumstances you are in? I am adopted, and grateful for that. I had fantastic folks that adopted me while in their early 40's. My mom couldn't have kids so they opted for me. There are lots of toddlers and children who would love to have a home. Take your time in your decisions, it is a life time commitment, and it never never ends. I think it would be very hard to be a caretaker for two, no matter how much love there is, there is only one of you. I wish you all the best and I hope you find the solution that makes your life more complete. ginnie

My homeaid's husband had depression but it was from deficient vitamin D. He had many of same symptoms I had when I was testing having only 16 in my body when low normal is 32. My endo wants me above 42 as my numbers drop so fast it has to be higher. I would get someone to do a vitamin D test. It can be a massive life change if one is deficient. My son-in-law will not allow himself to take and job indoors tho he has tried and he knows he would get down and turn into a very depressed person in winter. With all the new vit D info he realized his bady has to have constant vit D, to be out in sun and take supplements in the winter or he really goes into a scary place.

There is now a home test for vit D and if you want to get that involved ask the lab what lab they use for vit D test. I dont recommend Quest labs. Mayo Labcorp and others are good. If they use Quest subtract 6 for more accurate results.

To me it was a miracle. I think have been chronically low D alot of my life.

Annie59