My Father, a man who was robust, a contractor of decades experience and honors, intelligent to any measure, now declines in Alzheimers. The disease is horribly insidious in its "thief of the night" robbing of its sufferers from even their own person long before the body enters decline unto terminal events. Ultra poor planning on the part of primarily my Father resulted in circumstance by which Mother cannot afford to place Father in a care facility appropriate to his dire straights. She is left with caring for him at home.

Their home has been secured fortresslike against the possiblity Father might "escape" and wander. Lockdown is the state of affairs for their homelife in which Mother feels dread solitude while she cares for the needs of her love, her husband, though he is unable to reciprocate at all let alone recognize the one who gives and gives for his well being.

Mother as a caregiver feels utterly trapped. Oh, she has the limited contact with friends, those who are willing to be near to a situation which seems horrifyingly frightening. After all, could they be the next one snared into such a web of illness?

Consequent loneliness overwhelms my Mother. Oh, we make calls, or write. Our children reach out to provide photos or smiles. But the in between times. Those times when the walls of the home echo with the thunder of loneliness reach into Mother's soul, nearly entombing her. She begins to feel anger and deprivation. She lashes out rapidly and often with venom assured to draw wounds on those she loves, that is, those who understand her. In this, she works anger up to the surface and out. It is released as poison painting those emotionally near.

The very very difficult part here is continuing to deliver support to my Mother, the wielder of emotional pain. We have to love her through this somehow. She needs not to feel abandoned. My faith calls upon me to be prayerfully supportive of her so she may endure.

Thus, I pray. And pray. And pray.

Perhaps you who read this live a similar circumstance, and if you are in its throes I feel much empathy for you. Yours is a very very hard life. May you be held together in faith secure you will survive these interminable moments of dread loss.

I don't know exactly how, but all will be well in time.

hugs for the room

For all those who life is filled with giving care to those too ill to realize or know the physical and emotional demands that is being put upon caregivers.
Tho stress may cause them at time to lash out to those who try to show support and love for them:
We Pray.................
Lord Hear Our Prayers


Gerry

and pray, and pray, and pray
as illness that riddles the human
body in so many ways
i always felt
the two most disturbing
thoughts that cross my mind
please try and understand this question
and forgive me dear God of any disappointing
feelings

there are two
first the loss of a child
and a disease that as you said my friend
stripping the mind of any recollection of
ALL OF HIS LIFE WITH MOM
AND FAMILY OFF SPRINGS

AND E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G E-L-S-E

well loosing a child the ultimate
trust that it is in the plan of things
to happen as a result
and now even in this most
horrific
stripping one of their dignity
a collection of circumstances
that has happened not only
to dad
but dear mom is left to
much closeness to her faith
and understand as much as
she is equally if not more in
pain because SHE has memory
it makes me so sad to accept
all that is robbed in the name
of what LORD
as nobody can say you were not of goodness
that your purpose in this life in human form
to be the true son of GOD how sheepish
those must have felt when he asks his father
to forgive for they know not what they are doing
the truth for he was crucified
faith in this lesson for MOM
is just as tough

dear LORD hear our prayers
help us dear LORD
comfort her
as her memory is watching
and it HURTS

SOMEONE WHO CARES

I do know what you are experincing with the decline of your father. Caregiving is one of the most difficult and compassionate things you can do for your family. I did the same for both my parents, and they passed away in their own environments. My son even joined me and lived with my mother, for almost two years to help out.
My thoughts and prayers are with you Mark. Even if I didn't see your post right away, I will pray double time for you and your family. Give it your best, as when you family members depart, you will regret nothing. I have nothing left but good memories. May God bless you and your family, as you go through this most demanding time. I care about you. ginnie

My family is going threw the same thing with my grandfather. We saw little signs at the beginning. Like milk in the cabinets, forgetting to eat. Then in almost a split second Alzheimer's kicked in quick! Now he is nothing but skin and bones. Confined to his hospital bed. Wears a diaper. Cannot feed/drink himself. Doesn't even remember who we are 99.5% of the time. He has been on hospice I'm guessing a year now, he is a fighter! We think he is scared to die b/c he has told us that in the past. But we tell him all the time it's ok. We will be ok, you will be ok. Still a fighter. My mom promised him she would take care of him in his home and she is keeping to that promise. Her and my aunt take care of him and we have home health sitters. Alzheimer's is a nasty disease and it is hard to watch the one you love have to go threw it all. I think my family and I have crossed that line of we will be ok when he passes bc he won't have to go threw any of this anymore!!! He will be walking the streets of gold with our Heavenly Father! Plus his wife. She passed in 1998. I pray for you and your family to stick together to the end bc at the end all you have is family...



Ashley

dear sweet sister

thank you God for another day

blessings continue elsewhere
and in that i mean
the ultimate understanding
love of family
we surely can't pick them
but in the end know we are all
connected and need to pull together
one by one and making a difference
your post is touching
GOD BLESS

that person who cares

Mark and all others in this situation,
I want you to know you have support. I care. I send love and peace to you all. My prayers are with all of you. I am so sorry we are having to suffer with watching our most beloved loved ones waste away. Me and my mom are caring for my dad with an insidious "thief-in-the-night illness of Shy-Dragers. You are not alone. I feel so sorry for your mother. The loneliness and grief for a past life is overwhelming. Please find it in your heart to forgive her abuse as she tries to cope with this horrible situation. I pray The Lord takes both our fathers very soon in their sleep so this suffering can end for all involved. I am grateful to be here with my mother. She could not go through this alone. All of my love to all of you who are suffering with an illness and caring for those of us who are ill.
Brain

this is the truth
you do not get to pick family
try try try
i give my heart

someone who cares