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Spouse of husband with TBI

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Old 12-27-2014, 06:14 PM   #21
EnglishDave
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I feel for you having been trapped once chemically on the other side, where side effects stole my personality and cost me my family, and now a brain lesion has robbed me of my small amount of freedom in the ability to drive and has taken away my only hobby.
BUT… our outward inabilities to express ourselves as the loving people we once were does not diminish the love we feel in our hearts. We have had a huge part of 'I' taken away and can feel trapped, lost and alone. Do not take this as a sign that Love has died.
Draw on the strength of those around you. Come here for support. Know that your husband really hasn't changed inside.
Dave.
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Old 12-28-2014, 09:43 PM   #22
Wife of TBI hubby
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Default Thanks English Dave

I appreciate so very much all of the help I can get. It is very hard to have once been treated so lovingly to what is our "now". He has no patience at all and therefore it makes me feel like hiding beneath a chair. Seems like everything I say gets him angry. He's titrated up to the 750 mg dose of Depakote this week, supposed to be a mood stabilizer, this upcoming week will be week 4. I understand that it will take a bit to regulate. Also on Celexa 40 mg day. But this has been a med for last several years. I just feel lonely and lost. I try to be two steps ahead of his every need, as to put meds in a cup, etc. he got up earlier than me yest and Accidently took 2 Dep in am instead of one. Needless to say he felt new nauseated and slept most of day.

Thanks again for your reply, it means the world.
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Old 12-29-2014, 05:45 AM   #23
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I hope my friends on the CP Forum are reading your posts, many of us have been left with no support and you are struggling to give your all.
Please tell me you have some time in your day when you can escape for just a short time for your own mental health. No-one will benefit if you become ill, or find you can't cope. Do you have friends or family you can draw strength from?
I truly hope your husband's new meds bring some stability to his condition, and to you.
Dave.
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Old 12-29-2014, 01:21 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wife of TBI hubby View Post
My husb is 10 mo. Post fall on the ice at work. He came home said he didn't feel right, refused the hosp. Two days later as I checked on him, one eye was turned in. Went to hosp, ct scan neck and head. Referred to Neurosurgeon for neck x 2 mo. Kept telling Dr he wasn't able to recall anything. Two and a half months later sent to Concussion specialist. Sent for cognitive therapy 30 visits. Was sent back to work. Just finished all therapies for while.
Hello,

Welcome to the NeuroTalk Support Groups.

I just wanted to let you know in case you weren't aware that there is a very busy

Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome Forum

here at NeuroTalk.

At the top of the TBI/PCS page you'll also find what we call the Sticky threads. They're mostly information threads and posts and also contain useful websites and ideas for various therapies, TBI/PCS articles and research.

It's worth a look. There may be ways of helping your husband recover that haven't been tried yet.

all the best. See you there.
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Old 02-11-2015, 10:43 PM   #25
Danika
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Default Husband with TBI. Poor me?

Sadly new to this site resulting from a collosion my husband had late October resulting in a TBI. After three months of being hospitalized and rehab 1500km away from our home we are finally home. For three months I was on an adrenaline high to stay strong. His survival was the first hurdle, then waking up, then the major hurdles once he woke. Now that we are home and he is physically well I am a puddle. I am a puddle in private. I feel guilty about this. How can I be depressed or embarrassed about my husbands cognitive skills when I am so happy he is alive? I put me at the very bottom to ensure my husband and kids are number one. That's okay and is necessary right now, another form of strength. I know it cannot last long. I feel guilty complaining that I have not slept through the night since October 28th, or that I have gained weight since I am an emotional eater (apparently) or that I have done nothing for myself besides daily personal hygiene. How can I complain after all he has been through and continues to face? I am angry and bitter and so scared. Walking on eggshells depending my husbands mood, referring between husband and kids so they are not misunderstood and an argument surfaces. I love him. I just don't know him. Time. Time and patience....right? Thanks for the vent, trying not to feel sorry for myself.
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Old 02-12-2015, 01:04 PM   #26
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Welcome Danika.
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Old 02-15-2015, 09:52 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danika View Post
Sadly new to this site resulting from a collosion my husband had late October resulting in a TBI. After three months of being hospitalized and rehab 1500km away from our home we are finally home. For three months I was on an adrenaline high to stay strong. His survival was the first hurdle, then waking up, then the major hurdles once he woke. Now that we are home and he is physically well I am a puddle. I am a puddle in private. I feel guilty about this. How can I be depressed or embarrassed about my husbands cognitive skills when I am so happy he is alive? I put me at the very bottom to ensure my husband and kids are number one. That's okay and is necessary right now, another form of strength. I know it cannot last long. I feel guilty complaining that I have not slept through the night since October 28th, or that I have gained weight since I am an emotional eater (apparently) or that I have done nothing for myself besides daily personal hygiene. How can I complain after all he has been through and continues to face? I am angry and bitter and so scared. Walking on eggshells depending my husbands mood, referring between husband and kids so they are not misunderstood and an argument surfaces. I love him. I just don't know him. Time. Time and patience....right? Thanks for the vent, trying not to feel sorry for myself.
Oh, Danika.

I almost missed your post because you did not put it in the New Members Threads, but I am so glad I found it.
First, I am sorry about your hubby, the accident and your struggle. But be reassured, it can be perfectly normal to crash into Depression after one has been stressed out on an adrenaline high for so long. I saw it with my ex after an accident I had in '90.
The goal now is to get you well - untreated Depression rarely goes away, and it feeds on itself.
You are clearly in no position to talk to hubby about this yet. Do you have parents, a best friend you can confide in as a FIRST step? The next step is to see your Dr. This is not a sigh of weakness any more than going about a persistent cough would be.
It may be you simply need a few sessions with a trained Counsellor, perhaps some meds - I am not in a position to, nor would I try to, analyse things. Perhaps something more is needed.
The point is, it is clear you are the focus of your family, and you need to be strong and at your mental best for your own sake as well. You have made a great start by joining this Forum, like-minded people with all kinds of problems pull together.
Might I suggest you pop over to the Sanctuary for Spiritual Support,, or Depression Forums where we can all expand on this, vent, lean on each other, heal.

Dave.
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Old 02-18-2015, 12:42 AM   #28
Danika
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Default Thanks Dave

Thanks for the wonderful response. Much appreciated. Yes, I am new to navigating to such sites and should have posted elsewhere. I will take more time to get the ins and outs and search out other forums more pertinent to my "condition". I have read many of your posts and your heart is gold. Thank-you.

D.
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Old 02-18-2015, 05:32 PM   #29
EnglishDave
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Danika,
I am new here myself - still can't do attachments, am wobbly about links. Yet this Forum is as comfortable as an old sweater already thanks to the lovely members.
Don't worry about Posting in 'wrong' Forums, you will find support everywhere - it's just members with similar problems check out more relevant Forums first.
While I hope your visits here give you all you need, I hope the neccessity is as short as possible.

Dave.
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Old 06-29-2015, 07:01 AM   #30
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Its hard being a caregiver. I totally get it. My daughter suffers from PCS and also has good days and bad days. I take it one day at a time. Did you look into support groups from the Brain Injury Alliance. They have been a great source of support. Hang in there!
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