I have taken care of 3 family members now, 2 have passed. My grandmother, my mother and now my stepdad.

Being someones primary caregiver can be very stressful. Sometimes questioning why I do it, but never regretting it. I am taking care of my stepdad as a request from my mom. She wanted to make sure he was taken care of after she passed. I started looking after him around Sept 2009, when my mom started to get sick. She passed away Jan 16, 2010, she was 51.

The picture struck at my heart, because it is true. I have lost 2 of the most important people in my life. I see them all around me everyday and sometimes it can be overwhelming, but I don't dare pack their stuff away. I love the symbolism the things stand for.

Love them with all you have, care for them, help them, because you will miss them when they are gone.

Thank you Diandra! I am sitting here looking at my Mom's empty chair and it is hard.

My story is a bit different. My husband and I built a detached condo. We started in August of 2012; packing, sold our home in 6 days, moved to an apartment and finally moved into our new home September 25th of 2013. But before this all began we asked my mother to move in with us. She was so happy! So excited at age 86 to begin a new phase in her life.

For months we kept her involved with all of our choices; always asking for her input. Little did we know how sick she was going to become.

On October 23rd of this year she moved in and was just thrilled. I had given her the entire Master Bedroom suite with an attached Sunroom I knew she would love and she did! I went into that Sunroom one day and she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "You just don't know how happy I am to be here with you." Maybe she knew something, maybe she didn't. But I never heard her complain about a thing other than back pain.

Long story short, by November 8th she was at the ER. On November 30th she passed from Acute Leukemia. She did not want any treatment whatsoever and we all honored her wishes.

I miss her so much! We had so many plans. But what I have done is to get the things she had mentioned in her honor. Of course, I wanted to decorate too. But she had wanted a bedroom suit just like mine and after she passed I bought it. I plan on getting new cushions for the Sunroom furniture she had brought with her. It was another thing we were going to shop for. And she wanted the now empty chair to be re-upholsted. I will be doing that soon. For now, I keep her close with the things she had brought with her. I kept some of her clothes as they fit me too. And I just hug them when I am missing her.

So, yes, no matter how hard it is. Just remember your younger years when they tended to you.

Such a sweet and heartbreaking story at the same time. Your mom was truly loved and she knew it...what a wonderful daughter you are !

Today, or yesterday, my mom had been in her addition for 1 week. I went over this morning while she showered and when she got dressed and came out she was smiling ! Said she felt good and was so glad to be close to me. That made me have a good day too.

And you are so right.....she raised me and my brother and was an Air Force wife to boot. A wonderful and very caring mother but was and is firm in what she believes in

Take care everyone.

Debi from Georgia

Thanks for the additional info. So happy to hear your Mom is doing well. Sounds like it didn't take her too long to realize how fortunate she is to have you so close.

She seems like a lovely woman with a lot of "spunk". It's obvious, She did well with raising her children.


Gerry

Kathi,
Even though this was so tough for you, so sad, you gave your Mom enormous joy at the end of her life.

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. You sound like a wonderful daughter and your Mom was blessed to have you.
Diandra

Diandra thanks so much, and for all who have posted.
Caregiving is the utmost act of love...acknowledging and dealing with "what is" because you have BE present with pain, yours and the family member who is in it...
Much love you all of you here who travel and have traveled this road... it is the ultimate gift.

Thank you!