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Old 06-23-2014, 06:48 AM #1
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
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St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
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Default Oh Eva...You Sweet, Sweet Lady

Strange that I read your post right after my son decided he would 'step away' from our family for awhile Said he was leaving our 'world' and then proceeded to say some really mean things. He has never, ever talked to me like this before. This is a son that calls me 2 to 3 times a day. Comes over on and off all week and is usually here or at my daughter's house on the weekends because his wife works the 3rd shift on Fri, Sat and Sun nights.

This is all happening because he found out something that happened when we were on family vacation last year in St George. Between his step son and biological son. They were 12 at the time....it was really stupid thing for my biological grandson to do but not something you throw your family away for. My son is 33 and as close as we have been all these years I know even if he comes back it will never be the same. There are some things you said that can never be taken back. 10 years ago I would have crawled up in the recliner and cried for days....not now.....I fought cancer and received in return SFN. I'm a stronger woman now than I have ever been in my whole life. I told him to call me if when he wanted his family back.

Anywho......my mom.....Sara.......has settled in nicely in the addition. Her dementia is getting a little worse and I'm thinking we need to go up on her med. Can't remember the name now but it's on TV all the time in commercials. She's on 5 mg and I think she needs to go up to 10 mg. Caregiving for her has been pretty easy so far. It's very hard for me since I'm in bed about 3 days a week. I love having her here and have figured out not to argue with her. Just agree and go on. She keeps us laughing now with her little remarks. Something she would have been mortified if she had done it 5 years ago...lol.....my husband's aka is Ricky....we call him Bubba.....she was sitting at the dining room table the other night an called him "Ricky Dickey" and then 'Hon'....too funny since she called her mother-in-law by Mrs. ----- all her life. Just cracks us up.

She stayed with my brother while we took our family vacation in May (due to the above I'm guessing that's over) and she was so glad to get 'home' to her addition. My daughter has repainted the inside of mom's house. Beautiful beach colors but she won't let her smoke in the house......a house she smoked in for 30 some odd years But she takes it in stride and goes to the porch to smoke. Nice screened in porch.

To everyone that is taking care of someone they love ...... you are a wonderful and caring person and will be repaid ten fold for doing it out of love.

Take care everyone.

Debi from Georgia
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Diandra (07-08-2014), eva5667faliure (06-23-2014), ger715 (06-23-2014), tamiloo (07-06-2014)
Old 06-23-2014, 10:09 PM #2
ger715 ger715 is offline
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ger715 ger715 is offline
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Default Debi,

Quote:
Originally Posted by St George 2013 View Post
Strange that I read your post right after my son decided he would 'step away' from our family for awhile Said he was leaving our 'world' and then proceeded to say some really mean things. He has never, ever talked to me like this before. This is a son that calls me 2 to 3 times a day. Comes over on and off all week and is usually here or at my daughter's house on the weekends because his wife works the 3rd shift on Fri, Sat and Sun nights.

This is all happening because he found out something that happened when we were on family vacation last year in St George. Between his step son and biological son. They were 12 at the time....it was really stupid thing for my biological grandson to do but not something you throw your family away for. My son is 33 and as close as we have been all these years I know even if he comes back it will never be the same. There are some things you said that can never be taken back. 10 years ago I would have crawled up in the recliner and cried for days....not now.....I fought cancer and received in return SFN. I'm a stronger woman now than I have ever been in my whole life. I told him to call me if when he wanted his family back.

Anywho......my mom.....Sara.......has settled in nicely in the addition. Her dementia is getting a little worse and I'm thinking we need to go up on her med. Can't remember the name now but it's on TV all the time in commercials. She's on 5 mg and I think she needs to go up to 10 mg. Caregiving for her has been pretty easy so far. It's very hard for me since I'm in bed about 3 days a week. I love having her here and have figured out not to argue with her. Just agree and go on. She keeps us laughing now with her little remarks. Something she would have been mortified if she had done it 5 years ago...lol.....my husband's aka is Ricky....we call him Bubba.....she was sitting at the dining room table the other night an called him "Ricky Dickey" and then 'Hon'....too funny since she called her mother-in-law by Mrs. ----- all her life. Just cracks us up.

She stayed with my brother while we took our family vacation in May (due to the above I'm guessing that's over) and she was so glad to get 'home' to her addition. My daughter has repainted the inside of mom's house. Beautiful beach colors but she won't let her smoke in the house......a house she smoked in for 30 some odd years But she takes it in stride and goes to the porch to smoke. Nice screened in porch.

To everyone that is taking care of someone they love ...... you are a wonderful and caring person and will be repaid ten fold for doing it out of love.

Take care everyone.

Debi from Georgia

Some years ago, one of my daughters and I had a very difficult and strainful situation. Thought things would never be the same. Really is surprising what time can do. The memory of good times returned.

Hopefully, time will allow the sense and love that is now covered to arise fully between you and your son.


Gerry
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Old 07-06-2014, 10:33 PM #3
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tamiloo tamiloo is offline
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Wow….I just read all the post on this thread and I’m so amazed with all of you and what you are working through. I am also a caregiver for my hubby; he was diagnosed 28 years ago with Multiple Sclerosis. We have been together for over 14 years. When we met he could only walk short distances. I love him so much! In 2007 my dear Mom moved in with us. She was in slowly going through renal failure. She could take care of herself for the first few years. The last two years of her life she was so stricken with the bad stuff that comes with the disease. A week before she passed, I couldn’t care for her…she couldn’t get up from her chair, walking became very painful for her to do so there was nothing else I could do. She was in the nursing home for one week and she passed away. I got a phone call from a nurse at the home, she said Mom was nonresponsive. As I drove to the home I prayed with my Dad in mind. He passed away in 2004, cancer, he was 84. When my Dad was very close to death I told his hospice nurse that I needed to go home and get a bite to eat and get my knitting…it was my turn to sit with Dad through the night. I didn’t even make it to my home when I got a phone call from the nurse to tell me he was gone. I felt so bad because I wasn’t there with him. The nurse told that she had seen this happen often. Dad didn’t want to go with his little girl there and knew I would be with him through the night so he left while I was gone… (Sorry about the long post) Back to when I was driving to Mom at the nursing home…I started to talk to my Dad, I said Dad if Mom is like you and doesn’t want to die with me there you better take her quick because I was going to stay with her until she did go. I drove into the parking lot and ran to the door to be met by a nurse. She said that when she saw me drive in she looked at Mom and she was gone. I stayed with he for about an hour. I called some family and then went home. I will never regret having her for her last six years of her life…even when things got really bad we would look at each and just laugh. Sometimes I would get so frustrated I would go outside and scream. One time I yelled to Dad what can I do…the thought came to me as if Dad was talking to me…he said, “Love her as I do”. I got to know her so much more than any of my siblings. She is my Angel Mama just hangin out with Daddy in Heaven. My sweetheart always says, “In heaven you will wear a crown with uncountable jewels on it for all you have done for your Mom and for him.


Bless you all for all the sacrificing you do each day for your loved one!
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Suffered with back problems since birth...7 back surgeries to date, the last one being on 5/13/2015. Fibromyalgia, PTSD, Chronic Pain

“Being my sweethearts full-time care partner, I have to remind myself, when some well-meaning friend or relative questions my methods or motives, that I know more than they do because I Live this life 24/7, and they only come for short visits.” Tamiloo


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Gotta love my Olhipie! Dx'd RRMS 1986, SPMS 2004

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