I don't even know where to start. Do any of us really know where to start our stories? My husband has TBI. It will be a year April 20. He bumped his head on our wedding day and within a week had to have emergency surgery. He was a recovering alcoholic seven years sober when we met. The brain injury has turned him back into a raging alcoholic. The whole situation is sucking the life out of me physically emotionally and mentally and he is oblivious. I have no support system here which is why I am on the site looking for at least someone who understands my situation. I moved from Hawaii to South Florida because he said if he could come back to Florida everything would be okay. I really wanted it to be true so I uprooted my entire life and I'm now in a place where I am completely unhappy and don't know anyone. And of course things are no better than they were in Hawaii. His blood alcohol was over 500 least week.!! How can he even still be alive? He decided he needed to go to the hospital and he just got out today. I thought everything was worked out for him to go into rehab recovery after he went through medical detox but of course that fell through. He was having to be monitored so closely they wouldn't put him in the detox center and because he didn't go through detox at the facility they wouldn't take him in recovery/rehab. He can't get disability. He can't keep a job. It's like having a three-year-old again. He goes to the bathroom on himself, he falls down all the time, he doesn't bathe, the list goes on and on and on and on and on. I don't know how much is TBI and how much is alcohol anymore. I tried so hard to take care of him and make sure he took his medication and do everything I was supposed to do. I'm terrified every day what I'll come home from work to find. He lies and steals, is combative and completely irrational 98% of the time. He's been hit by two cars and a big truck since we've been here in the last seven months because he gets on his bicycle and rides around completely oblivious to the world around him. I guess I'm really hoping it is the alcohol making him behave this way and that he'll quit drinking and everything will be fine. I know that's not reality but I need a little hope. I'm a special-education teacher and I've worked for many years with students with behavioral problems, brain injuries, mental illness and intellectual disabilities but I just cannot handle the addiction. I'm here to talk or listen if anybody needs me.... Thanks for letting me vent.

Hello, Tessab. Have you thought about having him involuntarily committed with the hope he will accept treatment? He obviously is mentally ill and a danger to himself and others. Your city or states attorney ought to be able to assist you.

He will not listen to you. You cannot help him on your own.

I wish you well.

Welcome Tessab.

Aloha Tessab. I live on the Big Island... over 40yrs now and you did touch my heart...quite a challenge but glad that your work has given you skills... Now it's not easy. What came to my mind is to suggest find a Al-anon meeting asap They are really great support for families with alcoholics. I too have recently and continue to be effected by my x boyfriend who kept falling off the wagon into the pitts... got PAD, in coma for 5weeks and has lost use of his legs and in a carehome. you know how small town are...I am close to his family but must be careful of what I do... Not my kuliana Does he have family close there in Florida? Aloha 'oe ... malama pono.

Hi Tessa,
You have far too much on your plate for one person to handle. I am really sorry for the situation you find yourself in, and without help you are likely to make yourself ill.
Take Malia's advice if you can. Is there a Minister you can talk to to give you a little support?
Of course, coming here to our Forums has opened a line of support from members who are suffering all kinds of issues - the point is, we understand.
Even typing out your problems, and sharing them, can be theraputic. Knowing that people care can be of great benefit.
I do not know what to do about your Husband's behaviour, be it caused by drink, TBI, or both, I am not a Counsellor, but I do know stress and difficult times can quickly lead to Depression. That can cause all manner of other problems, and needs addressing at the first signs. In your situation you need your mental strength.
Come here to talk, to vent, whatever you need - but don't neglect yourself in the outside World.

Dave.

Just wish I could offer some good suggestions/solutions. You are in a real predicament. Unless you take care of yourself first, you cannot be there for anyone else. I'm not sure how much longer you can handle all of this behavior. If he will not accept help; you may, at some point, have to let go.. I wish you all the best at whatever you decide to do.


Gerry

As mentioned in previous posts above on this thread, there are also support groups for caregivers and partners of people with TBI. The members on the TBI/PCS forum here may know of some resources for you too.

keep safe!

I have been to a meeting with the Brain Injury Alliance support group for our state and it was very very helpful. I met so many wonderful people who were very informative and supportive. They meet monthly and just had a BBQ recently for all extended family. I've also been to another support group for teens with PCS, so that was really useful. They also have some event in June, and meetings resume in the fall. I was reluctant to go at first, but they really understand. If there isn't a chapter nearby, you can form me. All the best!