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Update on my Mom

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Old 01-24-2017, 12:53 PM   #1
St George 2013
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Hey everyone !

For anyone that doesn't halfway follow me (I totally understand ) my mom lives in an addition she built onto my house. I believe she moved in March of 2014.

Her mind was starting to slip at the time and we thought it would be a good idea for her to move up here with us. (there is only one house between mine and hers) She washed my dishes and my clothes which she had been doing for years as she was raising my kids. She said it was her 'job'.

Well she quit washing dishes and clothes a few months ago. Heck I don't care. It may take me 3 days to get the dishes done but I don't care. And now I only wash clothes once a week where she wanted to do them daily.....you should have seen me running around the house trying to find, usually, a clean blanket for her to wash.....lol

Anyway.......I came here today because I weighted her this morning and she's down to 69 lbs. She was at 85/86 for years but as her dementia advances so does her weight loss. Guessing they may go hand in hand ?

I left a message for her dr this morning letting him know. The lady I talked to said in Aug of last year she was 77 lbs and on Dec 1st she was 71.8 lbs on their scales. The dr called back and is going to send her a prescription for her to take at lunch and dinner.

She said she doesn't care that she weights 69 lbs ! She's still mobile but a little wobbly when she walks at times. Refuses to use the walker we got her or really do anything we ask.

Nothing tastes good to her and where she would finish a 'sweet' after dinner she only takes a bite or two now. Her breakfast is a banana sandwich which she was making until about a month ago and I took over that duty and add a lot of mayo for calorie sake

She refuses to eat lunch but will drink an ensure at 3:00 pm. She use to drink the whole thing now only half and says she will drink the rest later but she never does.

She looks like she has been in a concentration camp.....very sad.

Well thanks for listening....I just needed to write it all down. You guys are amazing.

She also smokes like a freight train....always has.....my kids say the nicotine is what's holding her together. She has very mild COPD and her blood oxygen is always above 95...crazy right ?

Debi from Georgia
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Old 01-24-2017, 01:29 PM   #2
Kitty
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I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom isn't doing well. It's so hard to watch a loved one decline after knowing them in the prime of their life.

I went through the same scenario with my Mom. She lost so much weight but you could not get her to eat anything she didn't want to. She looked frail and helpless but she was strong as an ox! She would clamp her jaw shut and nothing could open it.

We used to give her laundry baskets full of clean wash cloths and dish towels. She'd fold them, bring them to me or my Dad, we'd take them into the laundry room and dump them into another laundry basket and that was her "new" job. Folding the towels. She would do that for hours.

I stopped trying to reason with her. Whatever she thought was generally what we'd agree with. She'd tell me about the flowers she planted along the back of the house (there were not any) and I'd tell her how pretty they were. By the time the words left her lips she'd be on to the next thing.....never to mention the flowers again. It was sad but also nice to just have conversations with her. Regardless of whether they were about actual things that were really happening. They were happening in her mind and that was all that mattered.

I'm praying for you and your Mom. It's a rough road to travel but our attitude sets the tone for how enjoyable the day will be for them. Heck, we used to go to the farmers market nearly every day (according to Mom) and buy all kinds of fruit and vegetables. At least Mom thought we did and she loved to talk about it. We went a lot of places without ever leaving our back yard!
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Old 01-24-2017, 08:25 PM   #3
ger715
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Debi,
As you know, I have been very much interested in your Mom and her somewhat decline. As a former smoker; that does not do much for her gaining weight. Also, I would assume you have to be very careful the cigarettes are completely put out.

Have you tried adding /mixing ice cream in her Ensure? Some time ago, someone very dear was dealing with a serious illness. His weight really dropped considerably. The good thing tho; he enjoyed his Ensure with the ice cream. I would mix it more like a milkshake.

Is your Mom still watching over you? I think since she wasn't doing dishes, etc., she felt maybe this was her contribution; keeping you company.

You and your family are very much in thoughts and prayers.

Gerry
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Old 01-25-2017, 10:14 PM   #4
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Hi Debi

Thanks for the update.

It's sad that your Mum's decline is progressing and to the degree that it's affecting her weight and appetite. She's fortunate to have you watching out for her. As Kitty & Gerry have said; it's important to just relate to some one with dementia as they see their world. Your attitude to not sweat the small stuff will be helping to maintain peace and calm for her as well.

You've had a rough few years so I hope you're taking care of yourself as well. I know it's middle of winter where you are but summer will arrive in a few months and you can look forward to relaxing in your pool again.
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Old 01-27-2017, 12:06 AM   #5
St George 2013
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Thumbs up Thanks for the replies

Y'all are so sweet and I really appreciate it.

Well the medicine the dr sent for my mom isn't going to work out. It just threw her for a whammy.......in her mind I mean ! It's called Dronabinol and when I read the leaflet it's for cancer chemotherapy patients that have problems with throwing up and nausea. And it has an orally active cannabinoid in it. Not good for dementia patients !

So......I'll call the dr back tomorrow and let him know it made her dementia worse....she was so bad that I would not want to try it long enough to let her get use to it.

My 6th grade grandson has always been close to my mom but when he heard us talking about her weight he's really been over there a lot more. A few weeks ago he taught her to high five and fist bump.....so funny and she just laughs when they do it.

My mom doesn't mind the Ensure as long as it's vanilla flavored. I think her taste is pretty much gone....probably from the smoking or maybe the dementia I don't know.

I did call the pool place and they are going to open it on April 3rd.....That gives me something to look forward to.

Yep.....I have had a rough few years that's for sure. Started when I got laid off in Sept 2012 and has just kept on and on and on. This is my life and I just have to live it the best I can I guess.

I did have one good thing happen today ! I got a pedicure and for the first time in 3 years they were able to use the jets in the water ! That's pretty major for me since the SFN started....lol....of course they are pretty sore tonight but not in extreme pain as I have been before after getting my feet done.

Thanks everyone.....y'all make this a very easy place to share and feel the love.

Debi
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