I'm new to this forum and I think some already know me but for those who don't let me give an introduction. I have a neighbor whom I care deeply for as a dear sweet friend, I once had a hot crush on him. Anyway, around the biginning of this month he told me that his cancer would take him in less than 6 months. In the past couple weeks he's gotten so bad and overall through the whole month of July I've been researching, caregiving, and tonight and tomorrow I plan to take some me time with just a few minutes with him each of those times. My dear friend's roommate is starting to show his true colors, telling me last night he's not Doug's babysitter. The roomate is robbing my friend every which way he can while my friend is so doped on the morphine to know better. I guess in a way I am my friend's caregiver since I do more for him it seems than anyone. I've got to look after my health now though because it's telling on me. When I've slept enough and still feel like I could fall asleep all the next days something is wrong. Just taking this time tonight to try to focus on me is helping. I've been neglecting my garden so tomorrow I'm going to pull weeds and I have a girlfriend coming over tomorrow around noon. I don't mean to be rambling but it helps to get it out. I think this would be a great forum for me to stay in for now.

befuddled2

Hi Befuddled 2 ...I do not know you very well yet but I do read some of your posts. You seem like such a wonderful caring and lovely person. Your friend who is sick is so lucky to have you in his life. I am sure that he is very grateful for you. I think that you are right. You should take some you time....as much as you need. The more we take care of ourselves the better we are able to help our friends and family members in need...so pamper yourself! You certainly deserve it!!! Take Care Dorrie

Hello Befuddled2. I can understand your total exhaustion as a caregiver. I myself wasn't the care giver when my father had bone cancer as I live out of state...but my two older sisters and brothers-in-law were with him day and night. It seems that we want to do whatever it takes to make them NOT have to suffer...often times sweeping our own pains and health aside. You need to make time to come in here, even if it's only a half an hr at a time....still gotta have "ME time" as my sisters called it. Prayers to you and also to Doug with his battle of this disease.


Marilyn

Befuddled,

What you're doing is so kind and admirable. I wish it were easier for you.

I'm glad you're sharing and getting some out and hope that you continue to. I'm so glad he has you.



KD

Befuddled

You are so right this is a great forum for you to visit and talk in.
Just like the one that you and I talk in. I visit this one too. I never
thought to tell you that you would benefit for coming here. I wish
that I had.

But I'm so glad to here you are taking some me time. And I love the
idea of working in your garden today is it. And I know that Doug has
a very good friend in you. And I know that right now he is in good
hands, so that while you take some me time he is being taken care of
by others that care. So it makes it much easier.

Donna

Hi all, and thank you all. Doug went to the emergency room last Tuesday and got out Thursday. I went to the emergency room to see him and had a lot of calls to wait on or make. He is so much better now that he's back home. We've been having a blast this morning. It's like he's not even ill. The hospital changed his pain medicine. Doug's been holding down food since. He walks with a walker, is able to drive, and has a cheerful kind of prankster type disposition now. He bought walkie talkies for us to use between our apartments in case he needs me. While he was typing up his funeral plans this morning on my computer I had called my sister. The walkie talkies ring if want them to like a phone so he rang me while I had my sister on the phone. Without thinking that I was already on the phone I told my sister to hold on I had to answer the phone. Doug busted out laughing and then I laughed along with him. Then when I asked him to give me his honest opinion on the squash I cooked today he says, "There's only one problem with this squash........., there's not enough." He is such a character and I am so happy to see him in such good spirits.

befuddled2

Befuddled

I love his attitude too. And yours. Its like the hospital stay gave him
back a reason to want to go again.

Please take care of yourself and remember that he wants you to also.

Sending you and Doug some hugs.

Donna

Thank you Donna.

Doug's brother got mad at him last night because he didn't like the way Doug had set up his will. Doug's brother and him got into an arguement and his brother hung up on him. I cannot believe how some people can act like his brother is acting.

befuddled2

Honestly I can believe how people act. Tell Doug to leave things just
the way he wants them to be. And remember the happier he is the
longer he will be with you.

Yes, I know he hasn't long but that is only in gods hands.

Donna

Thank you Donna. I hope you have a good day.

befuddled2