 |
Junior Member
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in Alabama ,so go figure
Posts: 11
|
|
|
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in Alabama ,so go figure
Posts: 11
|
Social isolation
One of the biggest challenges I face as a caregiver ,and my son faces as a person with severe spastic cerebral palsy ( he is 25) is finding meaningful ways to connect to our broader community. I have no extended family here,my husband tends to be reclusive, and my teen ,like so many teens wants to keep her peer set a thing apart ,(which works for me too ) I have two adult offspring who have moved out of state ,both are in graduate school and while we have good contact via email they ,like my teen are doing exactly what I want them to do which is building their own lives.I have in fact made a deliberate effort not to depend on them for social or emotional support because they have chosen career paths that they both love and that are extremely challenging.It has meant a lot to give them the freedom I can not give my son who remains at home.If there were better options for him like good day programming he would attend.
When my son was in school he was connected with the community through his school and back then like many people I had a social life that grew from my work life. Its been about four years since my son Joe aged out of the system.I take him to town for walk abouts and he goes to church with his father and he goes to the library once or twice a week but that is about the extent of his social life .His condition disallows supported employment So what does he do? .He follows the soaps and derives some sense of community from them ,which may sound weird but is true.They are helpful to people who are mostly home bound and are interested in them.Meanwhile I blog on xanga .His soaps and books on tape ,and my blogging and the books I read help some but both of us miss actually seeing people we are not related to.I love to talk politics,and bounce ideas around and I miss the opportunity to have conversations with people.
I am unchurched and have no inclination to join a church although I know fellowship is one way a lot of people develop supportive relationships.
The isolation used to bother me more then it does now.In fact I find myself less and less inclined to seek opportunities to socialize.Part of it is ,as I am sure many care givers can relate to , is a matter of being often too busy ,and being left too exhausted to do anything extra ,and the hassle of getting out is formidable..I still wonder though if my current apathy about this which stands in contrast to the way I used to be is a good thing because I am less bothered ,or if it means I need to actually make more of an effort to reconnect.I have gotten tired of people who can not relate to my circumstances and say things like " lets do lunch" and those who feel I am freakish to take care of my son instead of giving him over to the state .In short its not just about access to people but finding people that understand me and my life, or will take the time to really know my son instead of just exuding pity.he hates that.
So my questions are.
Is social isolation an issue for you?
Outside of fellowship ,and extended family which are not options for me ,have you found other social outlets that work around your circumstances ?
Thanks to any who have insights to share Mia
AKA as Donnatestard (which means stubborn woman
|
10-05-2007, 12:05 PM
Reply With Quote
Similar Threads
Threaded Mode