How to Dance in the Rain

Wren · 02-27-2008, 10:39 PM

This is a wonderful email I received this afternoon and I hoped that you all would enjoy it too.....

How To Dance In The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound .

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that is in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

tamiloo · 03-07-2008, 03:03 PM

Thank you so much for sharing that with us, I too know who my honey is, thank goodness he still knows me. He has short-term memory problems but thank goodness I am part of his long-term memory...

I read this article in Mainstay about a spouse caregiver who was mourning the loss of her spouse. The article was titled “Redefining normal- again”. She was talking about some of the surprising voids. She said this…

There is a void of intimacy of a partner (and as a long standing well spouse I’m not referring to the physical intimacy of making love…that was lost years ago). I didn’t realize how much emotional intimacy we shared up until the very end of his life. Many of my care giving duties were very physical (feeding him, bathing him, rubbing lotions and creams on his frail body; (even bowel routines involved a lot of touch and tenderness). All those tasks were not the preferred form of sharing intimacy in a marriage, but they still were an intimate connection of everything that was much deeper. In some strange way, those tasks bound us together.

This is so true with my relationship with my Olhipie, Craig. So when she talks about redefining normal…wow…what is normal? Most all the things she did for her husband except for feeding him I do for Craig everyday. Of course, she did not list dressing him or caring for a suprapubic catheter…, which I am sure, she did also.

I love Craig and if our normal is redefined by what we have to do to exist, than our normal is all that she said.

What is your normal??

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