Hi everyone, as some of you know I am taking care of my husband lynn who has Alzheimer's. He also has sundowners, and is at times, aggressive and down right mean. I know it isn't his fault though, I know he still loves me..and if anything I love him more now than I did 23 years ago. It is a different love of course, I have moved from wife to care giver...the "old" love is still there, but now I have found a new facet as well.

Due to his AD and sundowners, every night is a battle. He can't help it, I know this...but it does still hurt when the anger and aggression takes over.
I have been his sole care giver since 04, and it is playing havoc on my health. I just had another TIA stroke, one of many this past year.

He is being treated by the VA, and his doctor is of the belief that he has AD, he needs to be in a home, and I better resolve myself to that fact. He wants to be home! I want him home! I just want the tools needed to do so.

He is in what I consider the hardest stage, he is bad enough to need constant care, but aware enough to know he is being cared for...and resents the hell out of it!! I can understand that. I am thinking I would as well. In home care help...he has thrown out of the house... he just is too aware to allow it. This is why I think the past year, and now are as hard as it will get...later when he isn't as aware, I will be able to bring help in to relieve me some. Until then, all I have been asking for is some medication to help with the sundowners, the mood swings and aggression.

I have been in the fight of my life, trying to get the tools needed to keep him home. The same tools every nursing home in the country is given. After this last stroke, a call to the VA commissioner and a new VA doctor, I am finally going to get some medications to help with his sundowner's! WHEW! It only took a year and a half, and 9 strokes I just can't understand why care givers have to fight so hard to keep their loved ones home

I came here only to post the Alzheimer's Prayer...but I went off on a bit of a rant This has helped me immensely, I watch it daily....I thought I would share it with you all as well Nikki

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/...mer-prayer.php


Also this poem.....

"In the Garden"

Pray for me I was once like you.
Be kind and loving to me that's how I would have treated you.
Remember I was once someone's parent or spouse I had a life and a
dream for the future.
Speak to me, I can hear you even if I don't understand
what you are saying. Speak to me of things in my past of
which I can still relate.
Be considerate of me, my days are such a struggle.
Think of my feelings because I still have them and can feel pain.
Treat me with respect because I would have treated you that way.
Think of how I was before I got Alzheimer's; I was full of life,
I had a life, laughed and loved you.
Think of how I am now, My disease distorts my thinking, my
feelings, and my ability to respond, but I still love you even if I can't tell you.
Think about my future because I used too.
Remember I was full of hope for the future just like you are now.
Think how it would be to have things locked in your mind and
can't let them out. I need you to understand and not blame me,
but Alzheimer's.
I still need the compassion and the touching and most of all I
still need you to love me.
Keep me in your prayers because I am between life and death.
The love you give will be a blessing from God and both of us will
live forever.
How you live and what you do today will always be remembered
in the heart of the Alzheimer's Patient.


Carolyn's husband, Chuck, has Alzheimer's. She was his full-time caregiver until he was placed in a
facility in 1999. Carolyn's web site at http://www.caregiversarmy.org/Carolyn/ features her poetry
and her journal. Carolyn is also founder of Caregiver's Army.