Hello everybody,
As I've posted recently, I am my MIL's caregiver and my Husband doesn't live with us. My MIL has PPH, (Pulmonary Hypertension) Congestive heart failure, and severe Osteoporosis. (excuse spelling) She can't stand without a walker, can't stand straight at all. She's on Oxygen, and a catheter to help drain away the cumulative fluid. I must dump about 4 liters of fluid out of her every day. Anyway, yesterday she was complaining of tightness in her chest, and somewhat more difficulty breathing "like the air was heavy in the room" Of course I contacted our Hospice company right away. But when the Dr. called back she told me to just give her more Morphine. Like, no big deal! I know I signed up for this, but jeez I feel so helpless! I did as I was told, and it knocked her out quite sufficiently, still I sat and watched over her most of the night. Ya know it feels like your somehow, neglecting the person to just stand by and watch while her heart gives out; without taking any action. Like somehow you become a conspirator in her death or something. I just don't want to have any regrets afterward by thinking there was something more I should have done for her. Has anybody out there been through this? If so, how do you cope?